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Quote from Penny in the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Sheldon: As I was saying, you and Leonard had a disappointing sexual encounter. Earlier this evening, Leonard characterized it as just fine. So what you're seeing here is a continuation of the mocking that followed.
Penny: Okay. Yeah, well, I'm just gonna go eat my dinner elsewhere. Maybe an airplane headed for a mountainside.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Penny: What did you tell them?
Leonard: Nothing bad, just that last night was fine.
Penny: Fine? You said it was fine?
Leonard: Yeah, it's a perfectly good word. You put it in front of wine or dining, and you've really got something.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Penny: It was ... okay.
Leonard: Okay?
Penny: Yeah, it's a perfectly good word. I mean, you put it in front of dokay and you really got something.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Raj: What's that?
Howard: Sounds like a cricket.
Sheldon: Hang on. Based on the number of chirps per minute and the ambient temperature in this room, it is a snowy tree cricket.
Howard: Oh, give me a frickin' break. How could you possibly know that?
Sheldon: In 1890, Emile Dolbear determined that there was a fixed relationship between the number of chirps per minute of the snowy tree cricket and the ambient temperature. A precise relationship that is not present with ordinary field crickets.
Raj: How do you know what the exact temperature of the room is?
Sheldon: Under the terms of my roommate agreement with Leonard, I've had unilateral control of the thermostat ever since the sweaty night of '06.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Howard: Okay, you were right about Wolverine and bone claws, but you're wrong about the cricket.
Sheldon: Howard, don't embarrass yourself, the science chirps for itself. Humorous word play.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Howard: No, no, not this time. I know insects, my friend, I spent many childhood years capturing them with nets, putting them in glass jars, sticking pins through them, mounting them on corrugated cardboard with Dymo labels underneath, identifying the genus and species. In Latin.
Raj: Oh, dude, you are never getting a shiksa goddess.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Sheldon: What was that?
Raj: My stomach. Indian food doesn't agree with me. Ironic, isn't it?

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Sheldon: Are you bothered that I can so easily manipulate you?
Howard: Don't push me, Sheldon. I may be small, but I took kung fu when I was 13, and I remember a good deal of it.
Sheldon: Oh, really? Well, I grew up with an older brother and a very contentious twin sister and I believe I could easily best you in any physical confrontation, be it noogies, swirlies or the classic why are you hitting yourself?

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Raj: Be careful.
Sheldon: If I were not being careful, your telling me to be careful would not make me careful.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Howard: All right, Sheldon, here we go, Kleingast's Field Guide to North American Insects. Hey, Toby. Right here, see it? The common field cricket, aka Gryllus assimilis, which is Latin for suck it, you lose.
Sheldon: Hang on. VoilĂ , the snowy tree cricket, aka Oecanthus fultoni, which is Latin for I'll suck nothing. Of course I'm joking because the Latin for that is nihil exsorbibo.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Penny: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm not feeling so hot either.
Sheldon: Why would that make me feel better?
Penny: I don't know, empathy?

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Sheldon: That's an inexact parallel. You and Leonard can always return to being friends, whereas I can never return to a state in which Wolowitz has not bested me like Mrs. Riley's chicken.
Penny: What's Mrs. Riley's chicken?
Sheldon: A chicken that was owned by Mrs. Riley.
Penny: Okay, forget the chicken.
Sheldon: Well, I wish I could.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Penny: You may be right about me and Leonard.
Sheldon: Of course I'm right What are the odds I'd be wrong twice in one week?
Penny: No, I mean, we can always go back to being friends.
Sheldon: I just said that. This conversation has started to circle. Meeting adjourned.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Leonard: Hey. What's going on?
Sheldon: Oh, you'd like to catch up on the events of the day. All right. Well, there was a half-hour wait at the bank to get into my safe deposit box, I was forced to talk to Penny about your sexual problems, and, oh, yes, in a moment filled with biblical resonance, pride wenteth before my fall, causing my Flash 123 to goeth to Wolowitz.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

Penny: Sheldon, you know, I do understand what you're going through.
Sheldon: Really? Did you just have the Nobel Prize in Waitressing stolen from you?

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