Latest Quotes Page 556 of 560
Leonard: If I could calm down I wouldn't be having a panic attack, that's why they call it a panic attack.
Sheldon: All right, all right. Well, just sit down. Yes, sit down, now close your eyes.
Sheldon: Just do it.
Sheldon: Now try to increase your alpha-wave activity.
Sheldon: It's a bio-feedback technique. It's relaxation through brain-wave manipulation. I read a paper about it in the Journal of American Neuroscience. It was a little sparsely sourced but I think the basic science is valid. I probably have it here somewhere.
Leonard: Oh, who am I kidding? I can't go through with this, you need to call her and cancel.
Sheldon: What should I tell her?
Leonard: I don't know. Tell her I'm sick.
Leonard: Not the kind of illness that will make her want to come over and take care of me, but nothing so critical that she'll feel uncomfortable going out with me in the future if I want to try this again.
Sheldon: Got it. So I'm assuming nothing venereal. I'll just tell her that you had a routine colonoscopy and haven't quite bounced back.
Penny: Okay, well, you know, it's just me. I'm still getting over this break-up with Kurt, and this thing with Doug would be just rebound sex.
Leonard: Ugh, don't get me started on rebound sex.
Penny: It's just, it's my pattern. I break up, then I find some cute guy, and then it's just thirty six meaningless of ... well, you know.
Leonard: I'm not sure that I do. Um, is that one thirty-six hour experience, or is it thirty six hours spread out over say, one ... glorious summer.
Penny: No, it's usually over a weekend, and trust me, you do not feel good after it.
Leonard: Well, chafing, right?
Leonard: Of course, yeah, emotional chafing.
Penny: Are you sure you don't want to go to the emergency room?
Leonard: No, no, I'm okay, it's stopped bleeding.
Penny: I know, but you did throw up. Isn't that a sign of a concussion?
Leonard: Yes, but I get car sick too, so...
Leonard: Sorry about your car, by the way.
Penny: Oh, no, it's fine, you got most of it out the window.
Leonard: The poor guy on the bike.
Penny: Was this supposed to be a date?
Leonard: This? No. No, of course not, this was just you and me hanging out with a bunch of guys who didn't show up, because of work and a colonoscopy.
Penny: Okay, I was just checking.
Leonard: When I take a girl out on a date, and I do, she knows she’s been dated. Capital D. Bold face, underline, like Day-ted.
I think I might have a little concussion, I'm going to go lay down for a while. Good night.
Leonard: If you don't have any other plans, do you want to join us for Thai food and a Superman movie marathon?
Penny: A marathon? Wow, how many Superman movies are there?
Sheldon: You're kidding, right?
Leonard: I guess we'll just take [a TV cabinet] up [the stairs] ourselves.
Sheldon: We don't have a dolly, or lifting belts, or any measurable upper-body strength.
Leonard: We don't need strength. We're physicists. We are the intellectual descendants of Archimedes. Give me a fulcrum and a lever, and I can move the Earth. (Trying to move the box) It's just a matter of... I don't have this. I don't have this. I don't have it!
Sheldon: Archimedes would be so proud.
Sheldon: I couldn't sleep knowing that just outside my bedroom is our living room and just outside our living room is that hallway and immediately adjacent to that hallway is [Penny's messed up apartment]!
Leonard: Do you realize if Penny wakes up there's no reasonable explanation to why we are here?
Sheldon: I just gave you a reasonable explanation.
Leonard: No, no. You gave me an explanation. Its reasonableness will be determined by a jury of your peers.
Leonard: Most people don't sort their breakfast cereal numerically by fiber content.
Sheldon: Excuse me, but I think we've both found that helpful at times.
Leonard: Sheldon, this is not your home!
Sheldon: This isn't anyone's 'home'. This is a swirling vortex of entropy.
Leonard: Do you have any ideas?
Sheldon: Yes, but they all involve a Green Lantern and a Power Ring.
Sheldon: Explain to me an organizational system where a tray of flatware on a couch is valid. I'm just inferring that this is a couch, because the evidence suggests the coffee table's having a tiny garage sale.
Howard: Grab a napkin, homey, you just got served.
Leonard: That's fine, you win.
Howard: What's his problem?
Sheldon: His imaginary girlfriend broke up with him.
Howard: Been there!
Penny: Yes, I know men can't fly.
Sheldon: No, no let's assume that they can. Lois Lane is falling, accelerating at an initial rate of 32ft per second, per second. Superman swoops down to save her by reaching out two arms of steel. Ms. Lane, who is now traveling at approximately 120 miles per hour, hits them, and is immediately sliced into three equal pieces.
Leonard: Unless Superman matches her speed and decelerates.
Sheldon: In what space, sir, in what space? She's two feet above the ground. Frankly, if he really loved her, hed let her hit the pavement. It would be a more merciful death.
Sheldon: Oh gravity, thou art a heartless bitch.
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