Latest Quotes Page 557 of 670
Sheldon: Ok, enough with the friendly banter. I believe you know why I am here.
Penny: Oh, I always figured it was to study us, discover our weaknesses, and report back to your alien overlords.
Sheldon: Yes amusing. Extraordinary intelligence might well appear extraterrestrial to you, but let me be more specific. I believe you know why I am here in the laundry room.
Howard: I understand your point, but given a choice Jews always go with Chinese food.
Sheldon: I've been dreaming about going to the Large Hadron Collider since I was nine years old.
Leonard: Yeah, well, I've been dreaming about spending Valentine's Day with a girl since I was six.
Sheldon: Shame on you! That's no dream for a scientist.
Leonard: This tray contains clues as to what you and I are going to be doing on Valentine's Day.
Penny: Oh, wow. Okay. Let's see. We've got milk chocolate, Swiss cheese, fondue.
My lactose-intolerant boyfriend is going to eat all this, then I'm going to climb on his back and rocket to the moon?
Leonard: We're going to Switzerland to see the CERN supercollider. And ski. We'll also go skiing.
Penny: We're going skiing in Switzerland?
Leonard: Well, you'll ski, I'll fall. But yeah, we will be in Switzerland for Valentine's Day.
Penny: You actually put that in an agreement?
Leonard: Yeah. We also put in what happens if one of us wins a MacArthur Grant, or if one of us gets superpowers, or if one of us is bitten by a zombie.
Sheldon: He can't kill me, even if I turn.
Howard: So what did you end up doing?
Raj: Not much. Nuked a burrito. Prayed to the Hindu God Urvashi that your bowels would loosen and your penis would droop like a willow tree.
Howard: That's not true. My happiness is not dependent on my best friend being miserable and alone.
Raj: Thank you.
Howard: Although, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a little bit of a perk.
Leonard: Who's miserable and alone?
Leonard: Oh, I used to be like that. Then I got a girlfriend.
Sheldon: In pre-1976 terms, neener-neener.
Sheldon: This is incredible! I'm so happy, I'm not even going to question their judgment in picking you. I'm just going to run home and start packing.
Raj: Why wouldn't you take Penny?
Leonard: I am taking Penny.
Raj: Oh. Well, then I anticipate an awkward situation when you get home.
Leonard: Sheldon, you got a minute?
Sheldon: Of course, my good friend. Come in. Help me out, which ski hat says aprs supercollider?
Leonard: Sheldon, I'm not taking you to Switzerland.
Sheldon: Well, of course you are. Who else would you take?
Sheldon: What? That's absurd. Penny has no interest in subatomic particle research.
Leonard: Yes, but it'll be Valentine's Day. We can go sightseeing and skiing and make love in front of a roaring fire in the shadow of the snowcapped Alps.
Sheldon: But Penny has no interest in subatomic particle research.
Leonard: But it does involve air travel. Okay, um, let me slice this Swiss cheese with my Swiss army knife, and then you can wash it down with a cup of Swiss Miss instant cocoa.
Penny: Okay, I'm starting to think Swiss is key here.
Penny: We're going to Disneyland and ride the Matterhorn?
Leonard: How does that involve air travel?
Penny: We're going to Disney World and ride the Matterhorn?
Sheldon: Not so fast. You might want to hold off on lighting your Rbeliechtli, Penny.
Penny: My Rabi-what-lee?
Sheldon: Rbeliechtli. It means turnip light and refers to a traditional lantern hand-carved from a root vegetable and used to celebrate certain Swiss festivals. Which you will not be celebrating because, a. these festivals occur in the fall, and b. you will not be going to Switzerland.
Penny: Is there anything in there about if one of you gets a girlfriend?
Sheldon: No, that seemed a little far-fetched.
Leonard: Sheldon, do you really expect to enforce this?
Sheldon: I've lived up to all my commitments under the agreement. At least once a day I ask how you are, even though I simply don't care. I no longer stage spontaneous bio-hazard drills after 10 pm And I abandoned my goal to master Tuvan throat singing.
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