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Quote from Beverly Hofstadter in the episode The Maternal Congruence

Beverly Hofstadter: Speaking of fathers, Leonard, I'm divorcing yours.
Leonard: What?
Beverly Hofstadter: Yes, he was cheating on me.
Leonard: No.
Beverly Hofstadter: Yes. With some waitress from the university cafeteria. Can you believe it? A waitress! Oh, no offense dear!

Quote from Beverly Hofstadter in the episode The Maternal Congruence

Beverly Hofstadter: Excuse me, Leonard. I'm the one getting a divorce, Mitsy's dead, why are you the one making a fuss?

Quote from Beverly Hofstadter in the episode The Maternal Congruence

Beverly Hofstadter: Your check engine light is on.
Penny: Yeah, I gotta put a sticker over that. So, you must be devastated about your divorce?
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, not at all. Though I am a bit distressed to be a in vehicle that's not subjected to regular maintenance.

Quote from Beverly Hofstadter in the episode The Maternal Congruence

Beverly Hofstadter: Well, initially I felt something akin to grief and perhaps anger, but that's the natural reaction of the limbic system to being betrayed by a loathsome son of a bitch.

Quote from Beverly Hofstadter in the episode The Maternal Congruence

Beverly Hofstadter: I've been responsible for my own orgasms since 1982.
Penny: Yikes.
Beverly Hofstadter: *laughs*
Penny: What's so funny?
Beverly Hofstadter: That's exactly what I say during orgasms: "yikes".

Quote from Beverly Hofstadter in the episode The Maternal Congruence

Beverly Hofstadter: How did his penis turn out?
Penny: Oh, Beverly. I can't talk to my boyfriend's mother about his penis.
Beverly Hofstadter: Fair enough. What, if anything, can you tell me about that busboy's penis?

Quote from Beverly Hofstadter in the episode The Maternal Congruence

Beverly Hofstadter: Why didn't you tell me you're tapping my home girl? Did I say that right?

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Gorilla Experiment

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Gorilla Experiment

Sheldon: Mom was right, hell is real.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Gorilla Experiment

Leonard: Howard, relax. I am not interested in your girlfriend.
Howard: I hope not. Because you don't wanna mess with me. *Gets in Leonard's face* I'm crazy.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Gorilla Experiment

Howard: Hope you don't mind, I told my girlfriend, Bernadette, she can join us for dinner.
Leonard: Sure, the more the merrier.
Sheldon: Wait, no. That's a false equivalency. More does not equal merry. If there was 2000 people in this apartment right now, would we be celebrating? No, we'd be suffocating.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Gorilla Experiment

Penny: Look, can we just forget about this extra stuff and can you just tell me what Leonard does?
Sheldon: Alright. Leonard is attempting to learn why subatomic particles move the way they do.
Penny: Really? That's it? Well, that doesn't sound so complicated.
Sheldon: It's not. That's why Leonard does it.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Gorilla Experiment

Howard: Bernadette say fo'shizzle to my nerdizzles.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Gorilla Experiment

Leonard: (To penny) It upsets Sheldon when you play with the Sheldon.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Gorilla Experiment

Howard: Wazzup, my nerdizzles?

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