Latest 'The Big Bang Theory' Quotes Page 722 of 724
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Sheldon: You might want to speak in a lower register.
Sheldon: Evolution has made women sensitive to high pitched noises while they sleep, so that they'll be roused by a crying baby. If you want to avoid waking her, speak in a lower register.
Leonard: That's ridiculous. (Penny snores.)
Sheldon: No, (lowering his voice) that's ridiculous.
Leonard: (In a lower register) Fine. I accept your premise, now please let's go.
Sheldon: I have to say, I slept splendidly. Granted, not long, but just deeply and well.
Leonard: I'm not surprised. A well known folk cure for insomnia is to break into your neighbor's apartment and clean.
Leonard: You think?
Sheldon: I am truly sorry for what happened last night. I take full responsibility. And I hope that it won't color your opinion of Leonard, who is not only a wonderful guy, but also, I hear, a gentle and thorough lover. (Penny slams the door in Sheldon's face)
Raj: Hello, sorry I'm late. But I was in the hallway, chatting up Penny.
Howard: Really? You? Rajesh Koothrapali, spoke to Penny?
Raj: Actually, I was less the chatter than the chattee.
*Leonard tries to slip a note under Penny's apartment door*
Penny: What's going on?
Leonard: Um, here's the thing. (Reads from the note.) Penny, just as Oppenheimer came to regret his contributions to the first atomic bomb, so too I regret my participation in what was, at the very least, an error in judgment. The hallmark of the great human experiment is the willingness to recognize one's mistakes. Some mistakes, such as Madame Curie's discovery of Radium turned out to have great scientific potential even though she would later die a slow, painful death from radiation poisoning. Another example, from the field of Ebola research-
Penny: (hugs him) We're okay.
Leonard: Six two inch dowels.
Leonard: One package, Phillips head screws.
Penny: Guys, seriously, I grew up on a farm, okay. I rebuilt a tractor engine when I was like twelve. I think I can put together a cheap Swedish media center.
Leonard: No, please. We insist, it's the least we can do considering.
Sheldon: Considering what? How great this place looks?
Howard: Oh boy, I was afraid of this.
Howard: These instructions are a pictographic representation of the least imaginative way to assemble these components. This right here is why Sweden has no space program.
Penny: Well, uh, it looked pretty good in the store.
Leonard: It is an inefficient design. For example, Penny has a flat screen TV, which means all the space behind it is wasted.
Sheldon: We could put her stereo back there.
Leonard: And control it how?
Sheldon: Run an infra-red repeater, photocell here, emitter here, easy peasy.
Penny: I'm a Sagittarius, which probably tells you way more than you need to know.
Sheldon: Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.
Penny: (puzzled) Participate in the what?
Leonard: We need to widen our circle.
Sheldon: I have a very wide circle. I have 212 friends on MySpace.
Leonard: Yes, and you've never met one of them.
Sheldon: That's the beauty of it.
Sheldon: What if she ends up with a toddler who doesn't know if he should use an integral or a differential to solve for the area under a curve?
Leonard: I'm sure she'll still love him.
Sheldon: I wouldn't.
Penny: I'm so sorry. I really thought if you guys went instead of me, he wouldn't be such an ass.
Leonard: No, it was a valid hypothesis.
Sheldon: "Was a valid hypo-" . What is happening to you?
Leonard: Our babies will be smart and beautiful.
Sheldon: Not to mention imaginary.
Penny: So, what do you guys do for fun around here?
Sheldon: Well, today we tried masturbating for money.
Leonard: I love cheesecake.
Sheldon: You're lactose-intolerant.
Leonard: I don't eat it. I just think it's a good idea.
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