Latest Quotes Page 1 of 590
Sheldon: I said some pretty unprofessional things about his work. I may have even used the "S" word.
Sheldon: I'm not proud of it, Amy, but I have a temper.
Sheldon: Why did you lie to me?
Leonard: I don't know. It just seemed funny at first and then the longer it went on, funnier it got.
Raj: I mean he only drinks milk. Like, where are the colors coming from?
Howard: You know, fun fact, did you know baby boys can pee straight up?
Sheldon: You know, I'm really happy with our wedding date. The month squared equals the square of the sum of the members of the set of prime factors of the day. Isn't that romantic?
Amy: Yes, it's like that Shakespeare sonnet, "Shall I compare thee to a day that's also a really weird math problem."
Sheldon: Well, I suppose we could pick a different date.
Amy: Well, it took you nine months to choose that one. I'll pick a different husband first.
Bernadette: When I went by the office they gave me coffee and cookies and no one peed on me. I miss that so much.
Howard: Honey, babies don't always come on their due date. Halley was two weeks late. But this baby's a boy. They don't take as long to get ready.
Bernadette: If you really want to help, put on a rubber glove, reach on up there and start pulling.
Penny: I know you're joking, but I grew up on a farm. I'll do it.
Sheldon: Suez? Birth? It's a big night for canals.
Howard: I'm not gonna fight her. That kid's head was the size of a cantaloupe.
Penny: When did you pick out our kids' names?
Leonard: Remember that day you moved into the building?
Penny: (chuckles) Yes.
Leonard: A non-creepy amount of time after that.
Wil Wheaton: Hello, Sheldon. I suppose you've come here to tell me that you've moved me to your super secret enemies list.
Sheldon: I don't have a super secret enemies list. I'm not a Bond villain. I'm just a regular guy, with a regular enemies list.
Amy: I thought we were having dinner at Leonard and Penny's.
Sheldon: Oh, no. No, they're watching the new Professor Proton. I can't keep Wil Wheaton off the Internet, but I can keep him off my retinas.
Amy: So, you're just gonna sit here by yourself and do nothing?
Sheldon: Of course not. I'm going to write mean comments about Wil's show online.
Amy: Well, you can't criticize something you haven't seen.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, are you familiar with the Internet?
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