Penny: Look at that! I discovered a comet! Oh!
Raj: What do you mean you discovered it?
Penny: Well, I'm the one who saw it.
Raj: In my telescope that I positioned. All you did was look into it.
Leonard: Well, you both discovered it. You can put both your names on the registration form.
Raj: Actually, we can't.
Leonard: Why not?
Raj: Because when I filled it out, it asked for name of discoverer, and I put "Rajesh Koothrappali" because because that's who I am, and that's what I did.

Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Doesn't anyone have a rod of resurrection? Because if you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
Stuart: Okay, you need to say these things in your head before you say them out loud.

Stuart: Listen to this. I-I was ringing up a customer, and I heard someone say, "Hey, there's a line," and I looked, and there was.

Stuart: Oh, look at that. Neil Gaiman tweeted about my store!
Howard: What did he say? Uh, "Next time you're in Pasadena, check out The Comic Center. Great vibe, old school, the owner really knows his stuff." Isn't that amazing?
Sheldon: Well, uh, it's no Sandman, but I guess we can't expect everything he writes to be a masterpiece.

Sheldon: Can you see Mercury? Can you see it?
Raj: One second.
Amy: You know, the Greek version of Mercury, Hermes, was worshipped in Athens by the carving of giant wooden phalluses.
Sheldon: Please, Amy, get your mind out of the ancient Athenian gutter.