Bernadette: Aren't you worried it's a little intense to ask someone you just met to go to a wedding?
Raj: (sighs) I'm running out of time. Wh-Wh-Why can't there be a service where you can just pay someone to be your date for the evening?
Bernadette: Like an escort service?
Raj: No, no, no. Y-You wouldn't be paying for sex. I mean, obviously if things went well, it could lead to sex, but, but the money is for, like, you know, her time and companionship.
Bernadette: Oh, I get it an escort service.
Raj: Stop saying that.
Bernadette: Stop meaning it.

Bernadette: She's just being nice.
Howard: Well, I'm her son, how come she doesn't send someone to check on me if I'm lonely.
Bernadette: Because you have a wife!
Howard: Yeah, well, sometimes you work late.

Howard: My arm is feeling numb. *Howard rubs his right arm*
Bernadette: That's the wrong arm for a heart-attack, doofus.
*Howard switches to his left arm*

Bernadette: You better find my husband's mother, 'cause one way or another we're walking out of this airport with a dead woman.

Georgie: After all my sacrifices, guess which kid my mom is the most proud of?
Leonard: If it makes you feel any better, my mom's most proud of Sheldon, too.

Georgie: Picking on him? Is that what he told you?
Leonard: Well, what about the time you threw away his Halloween costume?
Georgie: Well, yeah, 'cause he was gonna dress as some girl scientist.
Leonard: Madame Curie?
Georgie: Oh, I didn't know she was a madam.

Sheldon: Oh, maybe it's fine if she doesn't come to the wedding. I've got Amy now, and she can do everything a mom can do and more.
Leonard: Say that to her on the wedding night. Really spice things up.