Sheldon: Oh, maybe it's fine if she doesn't come to the wedding. I've got Amy now, and she can do everything a mom can do and more.
Leonard: Say that to her on the wedding night. Really spice things up.

Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed?
Leonard: There you go.

Sheldon: This song is never going to stop. Have you ever dealt with something so relentlessly irritating?
Leonard: That's a trick question, right?

Leonard: My point is, while you're spending all this time on your own, building computers or practicing your cello, what you're really doing is becoming interesting. When people finally do notice you, they're gonna find someone a lot cooler than they thought. And for those of you that were popular in high school, it's over, sorry. Thank you. Congratulations.

Georgie: After all my sacrifices, guess which kid my mom is the most proud of?
Leonard: If it makes you feel any better, my mom's most proud of Sheldon, too.

Georgie: Picking on him? Is that what he told you?
Leonard: Well, what about the time you threw away his Halloween costume?
Georgie: Well, yeah, 'cause he was gonna dress as some girl scientist.
Leonard: Madame Curie?
Georgie: Oh, I didn't know she was a madam.

Georgie: Leonard, you know how I got the money to open up my first store? I busted my ass for it, 'cause all the extra money that we had had to go to Sheldon so he could go to college and he could go study in Germany. And do you know what he's never said to me?
Leonard: Danke schon? It's, uh, "thank you" in German.
Georgie: Do you need me to sit on your head?
Leonard: Nope.