Amy: Hey, whatever kind of pink eye their kids have, I have, and I need to know. And if it's viral, I'm screwed.
Howard: Maybe not. You know, I know it's not traditional wedding attire, but how about a welder's mask?
Raj: If you know a welder, that could be your "something borrowed".

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Doesn't anyone have a rod of resurrection? Because if you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
Stuart: Okay, you need to say these things in your head before you say them out loud.

Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.

Georgie: After all my sacrifices, guess which kid my mom is the most proud of?
Leonard: If it makes you feel any better, my mom's most proud of Sheldon, too.

Georgie: Picking on him? Is that what he told you?
Leonard: Well, what about the time you threw away his Halloween costume?
Georgie: Well, yeah, 'cause he was gonna dress as some girl scientist.
Leonard: Madame Curie?
Georgie: Oh, I didn't know she was a madam.

Sheldon: Oh, maybe it's fine if she doesn't come to the wedding. I've got Amy now, and she can do everything a mom can do and more.
Leonard: Say that to her on the wedding night. Really spice things up.