Raj: (Reading Game Card) Enslaved by warlocks, stay here till you roll 2,4,or --
Leonard: She was mad at him, she was done with him, the relationship was broken beyond repair and I walked over there and I fixed it.
Howard: Boy that story gets better every time you hear it.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a forklift?

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not cry.
Howard: That's true, you'd rust.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: So you're saying, if in the depths of despair she throws herself at you and demands you take her right there, right now, you'll just walk away?
Leonard: I said I'm her friend, not her gay friend.

Leonard: Before you say anything, have you heard of Schrodinger's cat?
Penny: Actually, I've heard far too much about Schrodinger's cat.
Leonard: Good.
*Leonard and Penny kiss*
Penny: All right, the cat's alive. Let's go to dinner.