Mrs Wolowitz: Howard, your Froot Loops are getting soggy!

Mrs. Wolowitz I'm not going near that fakakta thing. I'll catch a computer virus.
Howard: You can't catch a computer virus.
Mrs. Wolowitz Oh, so now you're an astronaut and a doctor?

Mrs. Wolowitz Howard, it's the phone.
Howard: I know it's the phone, Ma. I can hear the phone.
Mrs. Wolowitz Well who's calling at this ungodly hour?
Howard: I don't know.
Mrs. Wolowitz Well ask them why they're calling at this ungodly hour.
Howard: How can I ask them when I'm talking to you?

Mrs. Wolowitz It's this dress. When I put my front in, my back pops out. When I put my back in, my front pops out. It's like trying to keep two dogs in a bathtub.
Sheldon: What do you want me to do?
Mrs. Wolowitz We're gonna have to work as a team. Get in here, grab a handful and start stuffing.

Sheldon: I would have been here sooner but the bus kept stopping for other people to get on it.

Leonard: You call that a glow stick? *Pulls out a Lightsaber* That is a glow stick!

Penny: Sheldon, that's not what girlfriends are for. Although you don't use them for what they're for, so what do I know?