Howard: I was just thinking about my mom and how sad my childhood was.
Bernadette: Yeah, I bet it sucked. I'm gonna take a bath and you do the dishes.
Howard: How about I take a bath with you? See what happens?
Bernadette: Here's what's going to happen: I'm going to take a bath, you're gonna do the dishes.
Howard: That's it? No compassion?
Bernadette: "Aww, poor Howie". We good? I'm going to take a bath.

Howard: I'm sorry I didn't take you to the airport. I just want you to know I'll never forgive myself for being so selfish. And I promise to keep you close for the rest of my life.
Bernadette: Oh, no, that thing's gonna end up in my bedroom.

Bernadette: (Shouting from the bathroom) How many times do I have to tell you to replace the toilet paper when it's empty?
Howard: I'm in the middle of something.
Bernadette: So am I!

Bernadette: Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?

Raj: In the last hour 162 people have read our profiles. How many of them have sent us messages?
Stuart: Combined?
Raj: Yes.
Stuart: Zero.

Sheldon: You've spent time with Amy, can you think of anything she's fond of that has a bunch of flaws she hasn't noticed?
Leonard: ... I got to go.

Sheldon: Amy ruined Raiders of the Lost Ark for me, so I'm trying to find something beloved of hers and ruin that.
Howard: Because her life wasn't enough?