Sheldon: I would throw a quick slant to a wide out, given that the defense is showing blitz.
Howard: Oh, I love a good blitz especially with sour cream.
Howard: Get it? Because it sounds like blintz.
Mrs. Wolowitz Did someone say blintz?

Mrs. Wolowitz I'm not going near that fakakta thing. I'll catch a computer virus.
Howard: You can't catch a computer virus.
Mrs. Wolowitz Oh, so now you're an astronaut and a doctor?

Mrs. Wolowitz Howard, it's the phone.
Howard: I know it's the phone, Ma. I can hear the phone.
Mrs. Wolowitz Well who's calling at this ungodly hour?
Howard: I don't know.
Mrs. Wolowitz Well ask them why they're calling at this ungodly hour.
Howard: How can I ask them when I'm talking to you?

Mrs. Wolowitz It's this dress. When I put my front in, my back pops out. When I put my back in, my front pops out. It's like trying to keep two dogs in a bathtub.
Sheldon: What do you want me to do?
Mrs. Wolowitz We're gonna have to work as a team. Get in here, grab a handful and start stuffing.

Penny: Howard, cow tipping - real or not?
Howard: I'm going to say not. That's just based on me trying to roll my mom over when she's snoring.

Amy: It says here you can get an annulment if any of the following conditions were met: Were you unable to consummate the marriage?
Sheldon: Penny!? Ha! Next ...

Mike: I know I'm hard on you, but you're not the worst son-in-law in the world.
Howard: Mike, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Mike: Well, I'm drunk.