Stuart: What are you talking about? There's nothing weird going on between me and your mother.
Mrs. Wolowitz (o.s.): Stewie, your bath is getting cold!

Mrs. Wolowitz I'm not going near that fakakta thing. I'll catch a computer virus.
Howard: You can't catch a computer virus.
Mrs. Wolowitz Oh, so now you're an astronaut and a doctor?

Mrs. Wolowitz Howard, it's the phone.
Howard: I know it's the phone, Ma. I can hear the phone.
Mrs. Wolowitz Well who's calling at this ungodly hour?
Howard: I don't know.
Mrs. Wolowitz Well ask them why they're calling at this ungodly hour.
Howard: How can I ask them when I'm talking to you?

Mrs. Wolowitz It's this dress. When I put my front in, my back pops out. When I put my back in, my front pops out. It's like trying to keep two dogs in a bathtub.
Sheldon: What do you want me to do?
Mrs. Wolowitz We're gonna have to work as a team. Get in here, grab a handful and start stuffing.

Sheldon: I really did think you looked pretty.
Amy: You did?
Sheldon: Yes. So much so that I started to panic.
Amy: Well you can relax. Just because you think I look pretty doesn't mean we have to spend the night together.
Sheldon: Were you hoping we would because it's prom?
Amy: I'm always hoping. But tonight, I just wanted to have a nice time with you. Maybe dance with someone who has arms.

Sheldon: There's no denying that I have feelings for you that can't be explained in any other way. I briefly considered that I had a brain parasite, but that seems even more far-fetched. The only conclusion was love.

Stuart: Oh, so she's good enough for Howard but not for me?
Howard: Yeah.
Bernadette: Yeah. Go have weird relationships with your own mother and cousin. This is his turf.