Sheldon: Well, I've been struggling for months to come up with a theory for dark matter that doesn't make protons decay. I'm hoping to finally tackle it by optimizing my work environment. See I've got, my tea is at the perfect sipping temperature. I have fleece-lined boxer-shorts to keep my tushie toastie. And last but not least, this inspirational cat poster improved with the reassuring face of physics renegade Richard Feynman.

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Howard: I invented a game. Want to play?
Leonard: Sure.
Howard: It's called Emily or Cinnamon. I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.

Amy: Look, your anxiety levels are right in the zone.
Sheldon: Really? Oh, that's fantastic. No wait, they're dropping. Why are they dropping?
Amy: Because you're happy they're elevated.
Sheldon: Oh, that is infuriating. Oh look, they're going back up again. Terrific. Oh no, they're going back down.

Leonard: At least listen to it through headphones. I'm trying to sleep, good night.
Sheldon: Boy. Taylor was right. Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.