Amy: Well, when we were going through security, I got pulled out of line for a pat-down. The TSA agent got a little handsy. I may have broken her nose with my elbow.
Bernadette: Long story short, she's on the No Fly List and we might have been followed here by a drone.

Howard: I'm sorry I didn't take you to the airport. I just want you to know I'll never forgive myself for being so selfish. And I promise to keep you close for the rest of my life.
Bernadette: Oh, no, that thing's gonna end up in my bedroom.

Bernadette: (Shouting from the bathroom) How many times do I have to tell you to replace the toilet paper when it's empty?
Howard: I'm in the middle of something.
Bernadette: So am I!

Bernadette: Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?

Sheldon: I've never played Dungeons and Dragons with girls.
Penny: It's okay, honey, no one has.

Howard: A satanic fungus that looks suspiciously like Al Pacino rises from the forest floor and says, (Imitating Al Pacino) "You're playing D&D. You're playing D&D. This whole apartment is playing D&D."

Amy: Go away. Sheldon is nibbling on my ... fourteen! Yes!