Sheldon: What would constitute a perfect day for you?
Penny: Well, I'd probably sleep in. Do a little yoga. Then lie on the beach while cute cabana boys brought me drinks, and probably get a massage. Then probably cap off the night with some dancing.
Sheldon: That's it?
Penny: Yeah, why?
Sheldon: You didn't mention Leonard.
Penny: He's there.
Sheldon: I don't think so. Leonard can't stand yoga, the beach, massages or dancing.
Penny: Yeah, well, he brought a book.

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Leonard: What am I supposed to do?
Penny: Err, keep your mouth off other women.

Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

Howard: I'm sorry I didn't take you to the airport. I just want you to know I'll never forgive myself for being so selfish. And I promise to keep you close for the rest of my life.
Bernadette: Oh, no, that thing's gonna end up in my bedroom.

Bernadette: You better find my husband's mother, 'cause one way or another we're walking out of this airport with a dead woman.

Penny: Do you want to stop? I know you have trouble with eye contact.
Sheldon: Well, you have a brown fleck in your right iris that looks like a Formula 1 race car, so I'm just concentrating on that. Plus it's easier around people I'm comfortable with.
Penny: Oh, sweetie, I'm comfortable around you, too.
Sheldon: Of course you are. I'm warm and soothing. I'm like a human bowl of tomato soup.