Raj: Hey, if you guys are free tonight, I heard about a spa where you soak your feet in a pool full of little fish that eat all the dead skin right off them. I don't need to tell you in Los Angeles, sandal season is year round.
Leonard: Actually, I'm hanging out with Penny.
Raj: Oh, okay. Sounds like it's me and you, Sheldon. How about we stick some guppies on those puppies?
Sheldon: As I've stated before on numerous occasions, the only sea creature I would even consider being eaten by is the Kraken. Because the last words I would hear are "Release the Kraken." That never gets old. "Release the Kraken!" Chills.

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Mrs. Wolowitz I'm not going near that fakakta thing. I'll catch a computer virus.
Howard: You can't catch a computer virus.
Mrs. Wolowitz Oh, so now you're an astronaut and a doctor?

Amy: If Sheldon proposed to me during sex, my ovaries would grab onto him and never let go.

Sheldon: Amy, when I look in your eyes and you're looking back in mine, everything feels not quite normal. Because I feel stronger and weaker at the same time. I feel excited and, at the same time, terrified. The truth is, I don't know what I feel, except I know what kind of man I want to be.
Amy: Sheldon, that was beautiful.
Sheldon: I should hope so, that's from the first Spider-Man movie.
Amy: I'll take it.