Penny: Hey, do you want to come over to my place, have coffee?
Leonard: Sounds good.
Penny: I have a video of me singing last night. Do you want to see it?
Leonard: Gee, why wouldn't I?
Penny: This is even better than you coming to the showcase, because now I get to watch you watch me.
Leonard: Yeah. Funny how things work out.

Leonard: My point is, while you're spending all this time on your own, building computers or practicing your cello, what you're really doing is becoming interesting. When people finally do notice you, they're gonna find someone a lot cooler than they thought. And for those of you that were popular in high school, it's over, sorry. Thank you. Congratulations.

Sheldon: This song is never going to stop. Have you ever dealt with something so relentlessly irritating?
Leonard: That's a trick question, right?

Sheldon: I remember the song! It's called "Darlin'" by the Beach Boys! Oh, thank goodness! I'm not crazy! I don't have to take a pigeon as my bride!
Leonard: There goes our shot at him living on the roof.

Sheldon: I am uncomfortable having been included in your lie to Penny.
Leonard: What was I supposed to say?
Sheldon: You could have told her the truth.
Leonard: I could not have said that, it would have hurt her feelings.
Sheldon: Is that a relevant factor?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Then I suppose you could have agreed to go.
Leonard: What would I have said afterwards?
Sheldon: I would suggest something along the lines of "singing is neither an appropriate vocation nor avocation for you and if you disagree, I recommend you do a CAT scan to locate the tumor which is pressing on the cognitive processing center of your brain".

Sheldon: Leonard?
Leonard: Yes?
Sheldon: (Sarcastic) When we played chess earlier, you were terrific, and I can't wait to play you again. Goodnight!

(Sheldon repeatedly knocking and saying Leonard's name)
Leonard: Ugh, this would be so much easier if I were a violent sociopath!