Priya: Oh, would you please stop feeling sorry for yourself?
Raj: I have to feel sorry for myself. I'm the only one who cares. Just like I'm the only one who'll have sex with me.
Leonard: Really? In front of your sister?
Priya: We shared a room growing up. This is not news to me.

Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Doesn't anyone have a rod of resurrection? Because if you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
Stuart: Okay, you need to say these things in your head before you say them out loud.

Raj: She didn't even get to see my penis.

Sheldon: There's no need to interact with me. I'm just here to observe.

Penny: I'm sorry, shoes, but you have to go back.
Shoebox (Penny): But, Penny, we love you.
Penny: I love you, too, but you cost more than my rent.
Shoebox (Penny): But Penny, you look so good in us.
Penny: (To Amy) Damn it, the shoes are right!