Raj: If they ever make a movie version of that book, you know who should play Leonard's mother? Sandra Bullock.
Howard: Why?
Raj: Because she's great in everything.

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Doesn't anyone have a rod of resurrection? Because if you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
Stuart: Okay, you need to say these things in your head before you say them out loud.

Raj: Okay, here we go. [to Leonard & Penny] Say cheese. [to Sheldon & Amy] Say cheese. [to Howard & Bernadette] Say cousin.

Bernadette: Boy, I don't know if I could be friends with Howie if we broke up.
Howard: Why not?
Bernadette: I'm a very vengeful person.
Howard: Really?
Bernadette: With access to weaponized smallpox.

Sheldon: I know he (Spock) wouldn't care for an outburst of human emotion, but oh goodie, oh goodie, oh goodie!

Sheldon: And now that I have some wood, I'm going to begin the erection of my settlement.