Beverly Hofstadter: You're not seriously going to visit each other.
Alfred Hofstadter: And why wouldn't we?
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh please, you're just saying this to antagonize me.
Alfred Hofstadter: Oh, not at all. Mary happens to be a wonderful woman. And if it antagonizes you, that's just a bonus.

Leonard: Penny, as a scientist, my job is to figure out why things happen. But I don't think I'll ever understand how someone like me could get to be with someone like you. You know maybe I don't need to understand it, I just need to be grateful. I love you, Penny.

Raj: Can we take a moment to discuss that I just lied to the government for you?
Howard: Yeah, I would not have done that for you.

Sheldon: Do you think your father's doing unspeakable things to my mother?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Are you saying that because the things are unspeakable?
Penny: Your parents are old. Anything unspeakable was finished by 9:30.