Raj: Hey, show her the trunk! Show her the trunk!
Howard: Imagine this: you've got the baby in one hand, groceries in the other, and you're thinking, "How am I gonna open this trunk?"
Bernadette: I'm probably thinking, "Where's my husband, and why isn't he helping me?"
Howard: You don't need my help when you can open the trunk with a simple kick of the foot.
Raj: No, it's a gentle kick; you're doing it wrong.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a forklift?

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not cry.
Howard: That's true, you'd rust.

Stuart: I also love how you never use swear words.
Sheldon: You know, it turns out, you can hurt people just as well without 'em.

Sheldon: Stuart, wait. I do know what it feels like to be left out.
Bert: I know how it feels, too.
Sheldon: All right, this is about me and him; you're not part of it.

Sheldon: So until Amy's apartment is fixed, she and I are living here together.
Bert: I lived with my old girlfriend. She was a geologist, too.
Amy: Things didn't work out?
Bert: I came home from work one day and she had taken everything. I'm warning you, hide your good rocks.