Howard: Can you please just help me?
Althea: All right, all right. Hang on, stay calm. (Over the PA system) I need an orderly with a wheelchair. I got a robot hand grasping a man's penis out here.
Howard: You think you could be a little more discreet?
Althea: I'm sorry. We don't have a code for robot hand grasping a man's penis.

Althea: What is this?
Howard: It's a robot arm.
Althea: Where's the rest of the robot?
Howard: I only built the arm.
Althea: Because that's all you needed, right?

Leonard: Is this the high-IQ sperm bank?
Althea: If you have to ask, maybe you shouldn't be here.

Althea: Fill these out.
Leonard: Thank you. We'll be right back.
Althea: Oh, take your time. I'll just finish my crossword puzzle. Oh wait.

Leonard: I'd suggest using some lubricant, but I have a feeling you fell on that as well.
Howard: Not funny, Leonard.
Raj: Really? A robot hand’s got a death grip on your junk, dude. That’s funny, ask anyone.

Althea: What is this?
Howard: It's a robot arm.
Althea: Where's the rest of the robot?
Howard: I only built the arm.
Althea: Because that's all you needed, right?

Sheldon: I am aware of the way humans usually reproduce which is messy, unsanitary and based on living next to you for three years, involves loud and unnecessary appeals to a deity.
Penny: Oh, God.
Sheldon: Yes, exactly.