Althea: Why is it hooked up to a computer?
Leonard: Uh, it's what controls the arm.
Howard: But it's frozen.
Althea: Did you try turning it off and back on again?
Howard: No, you see, it's more complicated than that. (Althea switches off computer) No, wait! (The robot hand lets go) Winnie the Pooh is out of the honey tree.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: I invented a game. Want to play?
Leonard: Sure.
Howard: It's called Emily or Cinnamon. I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.

Leonard: I'd suggest using some lubricant, but I have a feeling you fell on that as well.
Howard: Not funny, Leonard.
Raj: Really? A robot hand’s got a death grip on your junk, dude. That’s funny, ask anyone.

Althea: What is this?
Howard: It's a robot arm.
Althea: Where's the rest of the robot?
Howard: I only built the arm.
Althea: Because that's all you needed, right?

Sheldon: I am aware of the way humans usually reproduce which is messy, unsanitary and based on living next to you for three years, involves loud and unnecessary appeals to a deity.
Penny: Oh, God.
Sheldon: Yes, exactly.