Stuart: And, you know, Raj, I think it's great that you no longer live off your parents like a spoiled child. You live over someone's garage like a failed adult.
Raj: Yeah, well, you live with her.
Bernadette: Oh, it's not like that. He rents a room from me and my husband. Who, by the way, is no prize, either.

Bernadette: You better find my husband's mother, 'cause one way or another we're walking out of this airport with a dead woman.

Bernadette: (Shouting from the bathroom) How many times do I have to tell you to replace the toilet paper when it's empty?
Howard: I'm in the middle of something.
Bernadette: So am I!

Howard: I'm sorry I didn't take you to the airport. I just want you to know I'll never forgive myself for being so selfish. And I promise to keep you close for the rest of my life.
Bernadette: Oh, no, that thing's gonna end up in my bedroom.

Bernadette: One of the great things about being pregnant is drinking cranberry juice out of a wineglass and watching people freak out.

Sheldon: I call this meeting of the Council of Sheldons to order. Let's take roll. Science Sheldon?
Science Sheldon: Present.
Sheldon: Texas Sheldon?
Texas Sheldon: Howdy.
Sheldon: Fanboy Sheldon?
Fanboy Sheldon: Greetings.
Sheldon: Germaphobe Sheldon?
Germaphobe Sheldon: Say it, don't spray it.
Humorous Sheldon: Where's Jock Sheldon?
Sheldon: Not the time, Humorous Sheldon!

Sheldon: Why can't there just be one week each month for famous people to die?
Amy: Well, they've already arranged to die in threes. What more do you want from them?