Raj: Well, my dad thinks it's because Howard's always making fun of me.
Leonard: Well, that makes sense.
Penny: Well, what do you mean, that makes sense?
Leonard: Well, Howard does make fun of him a lot.
Penny: Well, that's not all Howard's fault. I mean, if Raj doesn't want to be made fun of, then- I, hmm. I don't know a nice way to finish this sentence.

Leonard: What am I supposed to do?
Penny: Err, keep your mouth off other women.

Penny: At one point, they had me figure out how to get a banana out of a puzzle box.
Leonard: Wait, Sheldon gave me a banana in a box. He was testing me, too.
Penny: Unbelievable.
Leonard: And how could a chimp even solve that? That was impossible.
Penny: Really? You couldn't get it out?

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Sheldon: I mean, it's not that I think we're living in sin, but I do like the idea that our next act of intimacy will be a legal requirement.

Amy: Maybe we should just get married at City Hall and forget about everything else.
Sheldon: City Hall, hmm. I do like metal detectors and the sound of permits being denied.

Sheldon: Neither of them will be the actual cake. I'm just using it as a bargaining chip to get Amy to agree to the whole wedding party getting rings and us getting one ring to rule them all.
Howard: I forget, which mental hospital are you guys registered at?