Raj: You mean like when a guy's upset because his friend agreed to take a cooking class with him and then doesn't show up because he's doing a juice fast with his mother?
Howard: I didn't know you were upset about that.
Raj: Really! Did you miss all the subtle indicators, like me saying, "Howard, I am upset".
Howard: Okay, sorry.
Raj: Maybe it means something different in this country. Back in India, it means you're upset with a guy named Howard!

Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Doesn't anyone have a rod of resurrection? Because if you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
Stuart: Okay, you need to say these things in your head before you say them out loud.

Sheldon: Stop it both of you! All this fighting, I might as well be back with my parents!
*Imitating his Mom* Dammit, George! I told you if you didn't quit drinking I would leave you!
*Imitating his Dad* Well, I guess that makes you a liar, because I'm drunk as hell and you are still here!
*Imitating his Mom* Stop yelling, you're making Sheldon cry!
*Imitating his Dad* I'll tell you what is making Sheldon cry, that I let you name him SHELDON!

Sheldon: You can't make a half sandwich. If it's not half of a whole sandwich, it's just a small sandwich.

Sheldon: Leonard, when that woman moved in three years ago I told you not to talk to her, and now look. We're going to be late for the movies.