Raj: No, no, no, no, no. Uh, Aunt Orange can't sit next to the bar without Ms. Pink saying, "Jesus thinks you've had enough whiskey."

Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Doesn't anyone have a rod of resurrection? Because if you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
Stuart: Okay, you need to say these things in your head before you say them out loud.

Penny: Look, I know this is your wedding, and you can do whatever you want, but if you think anyone but me is gonna be your maid of honor, then you're an idiot because you are my best friend.
Howard: Too late, Bernade-
Amy: (pushes Howard out of the way, rushes to hug Penny) Bestie!

Sheldon: Did Bernadette even try to send us a sewing kit?
Amy: She did. Amazon, standard shipping, not even Prime.
Sheldon: (gasps) We could've done that ourselves.
Amy: (chuckles) That's what she said.

Amy: Okay, what's the next test?
Sheldon: Loyalty. We need to choose someone who has our backs, someone who will keep our secrets even from each other.
Amy: Well, I don't have any secrets from you. Do you have secrets from me?
Sheldon: Yes. Oh, that has been weighing on me for years.