TV Announcer: Up next Babylon 5.
(Sheldon looks at Leonard)
(Penny listening to Sheldon and Leonard argue from her apartment)
Leonard: You're not even watching it.
Sheldon: I can hear it.
Leonard: The dialogue offends you?

Penny: Why on earth did you agree to all that?
Leonard: It was the best apartment I'd seen, the rent was very reasonable and after you've passed the first three barriers you kind of want to take it all the way.
Penny: Well, I'm sorry, Leonard, it's very hard to feel sympathy for you.

Sheldon: And next, if either of us ever invents time travel, we agree our first stop will be this meeting today in precisely five seconds.
Leonard: Okay. [They look around, nothing happens]
Sheldon: Well that's disappointing.

Sheldon: What's the sixth noble gas?
Leonard: Uh, radon?
Sheldon: Are you asking me or telling me?
Leonard: Telling you?
(Sheldon gives Leonard a stern look)
Leonard: Telling you.

Sheldon: Cathedra mea, regulae meae. That's Latin for my chair, my rules.

Sheldon: All right, next question. Kirk or Picard?
Leonard: Oh, uh, well, that's tricky. Um, well, uh, Original Series over Next Generation, but Picard over Kirk.
Sheldon: Correct. You've passed the first barrier to roommate-hood. You may enter.

Leonard: I did notify you.
Sheldon: Oh, you did, did you? Oh, drat. Hoisted by my own spam filter.

Leonard: Dr. Cooper?
Louis: No, you want the crazy guy next door.

Sheldon: I assure you, you'll be sorry that you wasted your money on an iPod when Microsoft comes out with theirs.
Rajesh: Do you have an opinion about everything?
Sheldon: Yes.
Howard: And you just assume you're right?
Sheldon: It's not an assumption.

Leonard: Not only that Sheldon saved my life, but that he didn't report me to the landlord, or the police, or homeland security.

Sheldon: Section nine, miscellany. The apartment's flag is a gold lion rampant on a field of azure.
Leonard: We have a flag?
Sheldon: Never fly it upside down unless the apartment's in distress.

Leonard: Can I sleep on your couch tonight?
Penny: Well, you can try. But the neighbors across the hall are being very noisy.
Leonard: Oh, you heard that, huh?
Penny: Yeah, apparently the one fella changed the thermostat, and then the other fella went bat-crap crazy.

Sheldon: This is the temperature you agreed to in the roommate agreement.
Leonard: Aw, screw the roommate agreement!
Sheldon: No, you don't screw the roommate agreement. The roommate agreement screws you.

Sheldon: Roommates agree that Friday nights shall be reserved for watching Joss Whedon's brilliant new series Firefly.
Leonard: Does that really need to be in the agreement?
Sheldon: We might as well settle it now, it's going to be on for years.

Leonard: Two degrees, Sheldon. I just want to turn the thermostat two degrees.