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Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Roommate Transmogrification

Sheldon: My hands are magic.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Roommate Transmogrification

Sheldon: Here's an interesting fact about alcohol: Man is not the only species that ferments fruit in order to become intoxicated. Can you guess what the other is? Hint: sometimes they pack the alcohol in their trunks.
Penny: Monkeys.
Sheldon: When does a monkey have a trunk?
Penny: When a suitcase just won't do.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Roommate Transmogrification

Sheldon: Oh Amy, I've never been touched like this before.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Roommate Transmogrification

Leonard: What are you doing here?
Raj: I was sleeping.
Leonard: In my bed?
Raj: Well, I would have slept in my own bed, but it was being used to bring shame to my family and the memory of Gene Roddenberry.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Roommate Transmogrification

Sheldon: Will you Boozehounds stop that infernal clinking? And the Answer was Elephant.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Roommate Transmogrification

Penny: Really still can't talk to me?

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Roommate Transmogrification

Leonard: What's going on?
Penny: Oh, hey, it's not what it looks like. *Leaving*
Sheldon: What does it look like?

Quote from Raj in the episode The Roommate Transmogrification

Raj: Well, uh, to paraphrase Shakespeare, "It's better to have loved and lost than to stay home every night and download increasingly shameful pornography."

Quote from Amy in the episode The Roommate Transmogrification

Amy: I study the brain, the organ reponsible for Beethoven's 5th Symphony. Bernadette studies yeast, the organism responsible for Michelob Light.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Roommate Transmogrification

Leonard: If I roll down the windows, everything is peachy. If you roll down the windows, you're still not a doctor.

Quote from Mrs. Koothrappali in the episode The Roommate Transmogrification

Priya: Oh, hello, Leonard. What a pleasant surprise! Mummy, Daddy, you remember Rajesh's friend Leonard.
Dr. Koothrappali: I thought you said Rajesh was out with his friends.
Priya: He has many friends.
Dr. Koothrappali: Rajesh has many friends?
Mrs. Koothrappali: Why are you lying to us?

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Roommate Transmogrification

Sheldon: What are you doing here?
Leonard: I live here.
Sheldon: I have paperwork that says differently.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Roommate Transmogrification

Penny: Can I tell you a secret?
Raj: Yeah.
Penny: I screwed up. Leonard's a great guy. Never should have broken up with him.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Roommate Transmogrification

Raj: Can I bring girls here?
Leonard: You? Sure. Bring as many as you want.
Raj: Okay, deal.
Leonard: Just not against their will.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Roommate Transmogrification

Howard: You gotta like this: the girlfriend, the ex-girlfriend, bonding over your rooty-tooty stinky booty? (All but Leonard laugh)
Leonard: Kill me.
Sheldon: It wouldn't help. The human body is capable of being flatulent for hours after death.

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