Priya: Why didn't you wear your contacts? Don't you like them?
Leonard: No, no, I do. Its just I knew I was having curry tonight and I only want one part of my body to burn at a time.

Dr. Koothrappali: Now, hold on. If she is dating an American, that's not a bad way to go. He's Jewish. Those chaps are very successful, and they don't drink a lot.

Leonard: Oh, cool. I've got a lawyer. And I've seen her naked.

Leonard: No offense, but shower sex with you is now the second best thing that's happened today.

Raj: Mmm, Greek food on pizza night? This is the most delightfully cruel thing we've done to Sheldon since we left that fake message from Stephen Hawking on his voice mail.

Bernadette: Oh, I totally want to see Sheldon dance. I bet he looks like a spider on a hot plate.

Amy: I trained Ricky how to smoke. I can train him to shoot a poison dart. No jury would convict us 'cause people love monkeys.

Amy: How does the cheetah attack a herd of wildebeests? By going after its weakest member.
Bernadette: Well what makes me the weakest member?
Amy: Your trusting nature coupled with your teeny-tiny body. You wouldn't last a minute on the Serengeti.

Bernadette: I'm not a very good liar. They kind of whip that out of you in Catholic school.
Amy: Don't worry. I'll teach you. I did two years of Cub Scouts before they found out I was a girl.

Penny: Didn't you get enough of this cliquey crap in high school?
Amy: I wish. A clique requires friends. I didn't have any.
Penny: None?
Amy: I used to take my lunch down to the maintenance room and eat with the janitor. It was nice until his wife called me a puta and made me stop.

Amy: I must say, Penny, this is great fun.
Penny: Glad you're enjoying yourself.
Amy: Until I met you and Bernadette, my trips to the bathroom had been entirely focused on elimination. Now they have a delightful social aspect.
Bernadette: Amy, you must've been in the bathroom with other women before.
Amy: Of course I have. But they were strangers and seemed off-put when I engaged in friendly stall-to-stall chit chat.
Bernadette: Some women don't like to get chummy when their panties are down.

Amy: You okay in there, bestie?
Penny: I'm fine.
Amy: The reason I ask is that many people experience bladder shyness, the inability to pass urine
Penny: Yeah, I said I'm fine. Stop talking to me.

Bernadette: Did I tell you Priya invited me and Howard to have dinner with her and Leonard?
Penny: Oh, that's nice.
Amy: No, it's not. It's a strategic maneuver. Leonard's new girlfriend is testing Bernadette's loyalty to you and the group. That bitch is crafty.

Bernadette: It doesn't matter. I'm going to tell her we can't make it.
Amy: Oh, no. You have to go.
Bernadette: I don't understand. I thought I was a teeny-tiny wildebeest.
Amy: You are, with hair that smells like strawberries. And we're going to use that to our advantage.
Penny: Wait. What are you talking about?
Amy: By accepting the invitation, Bernadette becomes a double agent inside the enemy camp. She could ferret out Priya's tactics, identify her weaknesses and feed her false information, such as, Leonard's no stranger to back-alley cockfights.

Amy: How do you feel about concealing a recording device in the cleavage of your ample bosom?
Bernadette: I don't want anything in my ample bosom.
Amy: Come on, Strawberries. Take one for the team.