Sheldon: Greetings, friends.
Leonard: (To Robot Sheldon) Greetings, whatever-the-hell you are.

Sheldon Cooper: You're my 15th favorite technological visionary.

Steve Wozniak: Only 15th?

Sheldon Cooper: It's still 6 spots above Steve Jobs. I care neither for turtlenecks nor showmanship.

Steve Wozniak: Yeah, I never got that turtleneck thing.

Sheldon Cooper: One of my proudest possessions is a vintage 1977 Apple. Despite the file system limitations of Apple DOS 3.3, it was a pretty nifty little achievement.

Steve Wozniak: Thanks. We were shooting for nifty. You know if you had it here I'd autograph it for you.

Sheldon Cooper: Don't move for 15 to 30 minutes depending on how the buses are running.

Steve Wozniak: (To his wife) Nerds!

Sheldon: [through virtual presence device] Sing me Soft Kitty.
Penny: Really, you want me to sing Soft Kitty to a computer monitor?
Sheldon: Would you rather come over and sing it to me in person?
Penny: [sings] Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur.
Sheldon: Closer to the microphone.
Penny: Happy kitty, sleepy…
Sheldon: No. You have to start over.
Penny: [sings] Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr.

Sheldon: [through virtual presence device] This is a photograph of the 1911 Solvay Conference on the theory of radiation and quanta. Using Photoshop, I've introduced a few anachronisms. See if you can spot all 24. I'll give you the first one. Madame Curie should not be wearing a digital watch. And go.
Leonard: That’s it. Bye-bye. [turns off screen]
Sheldon: [screen turns on] Bazinga.
Leonard: Whoa! [car swerves]
Sheldon: I have an override switch.
Leonard: I almost died!
Sheldon: And I'm safe and sound in bed. Who's crazy now?
Leonard: I'm still going to go with you.

Leonard: The robot hand got stuck on your what?

Raj: You slipped and fell into a robotic hand.
Wolowitz: Yes.
Raj: Penis first?
Wolowitz: Yes.

Sheldon: Is your womb available for rental?

Sheldon: Well that's no threat, my mother's always wanted a grandchild.
Penny: Really? Your deeply religious born-again Christian mother wants a test-tube grandbaby born out of wedlock?
Sheldon: Curses.

Sheldon: I just don't want to be yet another flip-flop fatality.

Sheldon: I have a Masters degree and two Doctorates. The things I should know, I do know.

Sheldon: So, this conversation is as pointless as your door knocking soliloquy?
Penny: Let me get my cockamamie keys.

Raj: When Winnie-the-Pooh got his head stuck in the honey tree, his friends all grabbed onto him and pulled and pulled.
Leonard: You do what you want, I'm not touching another man's honey tree.

Althea: What is this?
Howard: It's a robot arm.
Althea: Where's the rest of the robot?
Howard: I only built the arm.
Althea: Because that's all you needed, right?

Wolowitz: Winnie-the-Pooh is out of the honey tree.

Sheldon: I am aware of the way humans usually reproduce which is messy, unsanitary and based on living next to you for three years, involves loud and unnecessary appeals to a deity.
Penny: Oh, God.
Sheldon: Yes, exactly.