Leonard: Penny, Steve Wozniak was one of the co-founders of Apple computer. He and Steve Jobs.
Penny: Yeah. I know who he is. I watch Dancing With the Stars.

Raj: I'm a lamb!

Raj: You know there's something I've always wondered about Aquaman.
Leonard: Yeah?
Raj: Where does he poop?
Leonard: What?
Raj: What do the toilets look like in Atlantis? How would you flush it? And when you did flush it, where would the poop go?

Howard: Hey look, it's Leonard and R2-D-bag!

Leonard: What's a dogapus?
Sheldon: A hybrid dog and octopus. Man's underwater best friend.
Leonard: There's someone working on that?
Sheldon: I was going to. I planned on giving it to myself for my 300th birthday.
Leonard: Wait a minute you hate dogs.
Sheldon: A dogapus can play fetch with eight balls; no one can hate that.

Sheldon: I am aware of the way humans usually reproduce which is messy, unsanitary and based on living next to you for three years, involves loud and unnecessary appeals to a deity.
Penny: Oh, God.
Sheldon: Yes, exactly.

Wolowitz: Winnie-the-Pooh is out of the honey tree.

Althea: What is this?
Howard: It's a robot arm.
Althea: Where's the rest of the robot?
Howard: I only built the arm.
Althea: Because that's all you needed, right?

Raj: When Winnie-the-Pooh got his head stuck in the honey tree, his friends all grabbed onto him and pulled and pulled.
Leonard: You do what you want, I'm not touching another man's honey tree.

Sheldon: So, this conversation is as pointless as your door knocking soliloquy?
Penny: Let me get my cockamamie keys.

Sheldon: I just don't want to be yet another flip-flop fatality.

Sheldon: I have a Masters degree and two Doctorates. The things I should know, I do know.

Sheldon: Is your womb available for rental?

Sheldon: Well that's no threat, my mother's always wanted a grandchild.
Penny: Really? Your deeply religious born-again Christian mother wants a test-tube grandbaby born out of wedlock?
Sheldon: Curses.

Raj: You slipped and fell into a robotic hand.
Wolowitz: Yes.
Raj: Penis first?
Wolowitz: Yes.