Penny: You mean like a beta test?
Leonard: Well, technically, this would be an alpha test. A beta test requires people that weren't involved in the development of the appli-
Penny: Seriously, do I not get credit for knowing beta test?
Leonard: No, absolutely you should.

Sheldon: I assume we're talking about you now?
Leonard: Yeah.
Sheldon: So that's how this works, I complain and then you complain and no one offers any solutions?
Leonard: Pretty much.
Sheldon: Well no wonder the women are winning.

Raj: Did you forget what Penny did to you? It took two years and defiling my sister to turn that frown upside down.
Leonard: I didn't defile your sister, we had a relationship.
Raj: I heard you called her Brown Sugar. In my book, that's defilement.

Leonard: How does a miserable date end in sex?
Penny: I don't know, it's complicated.
Leonard: Well, I'm a pretty smart guy and right now my brain has dibs on the blood supply so give it a go.

Sheldon: If there is ever a church of Sheldon, it started here.

Raj: I'm glad men are wearing hats again. They are so distinguished.

Leonard: Going to Wheaton's party is not betraying you.
Sheldon: Oh, of course you would have to believe that. Evil always thinks it's doing right. Excuse me, Stormtrooper. These are the droids you're looking for.
Leonard: I'm going to a party. I'm not turning R2-D2 and C-3PO over to the empire!
Sheldon: Not yet.

Spock Doll: What is the purpose of a toy?
Sheldon: To be played with.
Spock Doll: Therefore to not play with it would be...?
Sheldon: Illogical. Damn it, Spock, you're right.

Sheldon: You're my girlfriend and you're not going to cater to my every need? Where'd the magic go?

Amy: That would be my boyfriend. Happier playing his dopey Star Trek game with his friends than hanging out with me
Penny: Wars.
Amy: What?
Penny: Star Wars. They get all cranky when you mix the two up.
Amy: What's the difference?
Penny: There is absolutely no difference!

Bernadette: Oh, boo-hoo, you're not going to space!

Sheldon: All these years I've been so wrong. The tinier the trains, the more concentrated the fun.

Barry Kripke: Heads up. Professor Rothman urinated in the physics lab again. So we're going to move up his retirement party. Friday 5 o'clock pot luck.

Sheldon: I love astro-physics. It's like looking at the universe naked.

Leonard: Please don't let this be Sheldon playing bongos.