Leonard: Fine, what is it?
Sheldon: I'm making s'mores. I wanted to alert you in case you smelled caramelizing marshmallows and thought a nearby candy factory was on fire.
Leonard: S'mores, huh? Good for you.
Sheldon: Yes, or good for us if you sign here and reinstate the full roommate agreement.
Leonard: No, thanks. I'm good.
Sheldon: Really? Huh! Okay. In that case, I will have a s'more by myself. And then I'm gonna have s'more. By myself.

Penny: Hey, guys, the building manager said the reason the power went out is someone went down into the basement and just pulled the main breaker switch.
Leonard: Really. Who do you think did that, Sheldon?
Sheldon: Oh, I don't know. But whoever that mystery man was, you should be eternally grateful, for without him, there would be no Leonard's Day.
Penny: Leonard's Day?
Sheldon: Oh, no pressure. Just get him a crummy card, you're good.

Howard: Emergency drill night last night, huh?
Leonard: Uh-huh.
Raj: How'd you do?
Sheldon: I'll tell you exactly how he did. Readiness: unsatisfactory. Follows direction: barely. Attitude: a little too much. Overall: not only will he probably die in a fiery inferno, his incessant whining would most certainly spoil everyone else's day.

Leonard: You know what, I'm so tired I can't even think straight. I'm going home. Will one of you guys give this nutbag a ride back later?
Sheldon: You can't go home. You have to take me to the dentist at four o'clock.
Leonard: Oh, can't you take the bus to the dentist?
Sheldon: Of course I can. It's coming back under the residual effects of the anesthesia, that's the problem. Two years ago after a deep gum cleaning, I thought I got on a bus but somehow wound up on a booze cruise to Mexico.
Raj: They put you under for a cleaning?
Sheldon: Yeah, they have to, I'm a biter.

Leonard: Whatever, Sheldon. I'm exhausted. I'm not taking you to the dentist.
Sheldon: Wrong, sir. Wrong. Under section 37B of the roommate agreement, miscellaneous duties, you are obligated to take me to the dentist. See? It's right here after providing a confirmation sniff on questionable dairy products.
Leonard: You know what, I am sick of the roommate agreement. It's ridiculous. I'm your roommate, not your chauffeur. You know, I had better things to do yesterday than drive you all the way to the good model train store in Garden Grove because the one in Pasadena has gotten too big for its britches.
Sheldon: Well, it has. Ask anybody.

Sheldon: On a cheerier note, I have a teeth-cleaning appointment this afternoon. What do you say you take me over there, buddy boy?
Stuart: I'm sorry, you want me to take you to the dentist?
Sheldon: Yes. And now, I can't make any promises, but that's the sort of thing that gets a fella on the short list for the number eight friend slot.
Stuart: Sheldon, I'm working. I can't take you to the dentist. Also, and I can't stress this enough, I don't want to take you to the dentist.
Sheldon: Can't help a friend out in a time of need, huh? I see where your therapist was coming from.

Sheldon: Hello, Stuart.
Stuart: Oh, hey, Sheldon. Can I help you find something today?
Sheldon: No, no. I was just sitting at home thinking about how it might be nice to catch up with my ninth favorite person.
Stuart: Ninth?
Sheldon: You moved up one. My pen pal in Somalia was kidnapped by pirates.

Sheldon: Well, if Amy's too busy, that gives the rest of you an opportunity to make my life easier, thus assuring yourselves a footnote in my memoirs, tentatively entitled "You're Welcome, Mankind". All right, then, just shout when you hear the task you want to undertake. Uh, dentist. Okay, we can circle back to that one. Um, well, who wants to take me Wednesday morning to get new heels put on my dress shoes? Anyone? Oh. That one had hoot written all over it. Um, all right, uh, dermatologist? Allergist? Podiatrist? Supercuts? Okay, okay, here's a fun one. Um, I need a new picture frame and I have a hankering for Swedish meatballs. Who wants to spend the day with me at IKEA?
Raj: Their meatballs are pretty good.
Sheldon: What's that?
Raj: Nothing, nothing.

Bernadette: Howard doesn't make me do his shopping, or take him to the dentist, or pick up his dry cleaning, right?
Howard: Absolutely. But when Ma's hips give out, you're up, kid.

Penny: Oh, good, your power's out, too.
Leonard: Why is that good?
Penny: Because last month, I sent the electric company a Starbucks gift card, an apology note, and a few snapshots of me in a bra.

Leonard: Hey, did you ever make it to the dentist?
Sheldon: Not necessary. No. I found a service that'll send a van to your house for a teeth cleaning. Mostly they cater to dogs, but the fellow on the phone seemed to have an open mind.

Sheldon: Are you suggesting that you've come to your senses and wish to re-establish the mutual benefits that stem from full participation in the roommate agreement?
Leonard: Absolutely. If you admit that you're a 30-year-old man who's incapable of functioning on his own.
Raj: Ooh, Sock Mouth's got him on the ropes.
Sheldon: I will admit nothing of the sort. And now if you'll excuse me, I have to call my dentist and see if I can also get my hair shampooed and my nails clipped.

Penny: Maybe a little Rodeo Drive.
Mary: Well, I can't spend $12,000 on a handbag. But it's free to look upon those that do with righteous condemnation.

Penny: Pretty cool, huh? Probably would cost, like, two hundred bucks in a store.
Amy: I do appreciate a bargain. This entire ensemble once belonged to my dead grandmother.
Penny: You're kidding.
Amy: Everything except bra and panties. And they're a leopard-spotted secret I share with Victoria.

Raj: I'll try it. Like this?
Howard: Almost. Really get your tongue in there, to activate the motion sensor.
Raj: Like this?
Howard: Close. Really French it.
Raj: Better?
Howard: Yeah, you got it, you got it.
Raj: I'm impressed. This is very lifelike.
Howard: Whoa! You just bit my tongue!
Raj: I, I nibbled. I was being playful.
Howard: Why do you have to make everything weird?
Raj: Sorry. Better?
Howard: Oh, yeah.