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Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Friendship Contraction

Sheldon: Power failure. Implementing power-failure protocol.
Leonard: What happened to all your glow-in-the-dark-emergency-exit stuff you had painted on the floor?
Sheldon: Oh, that was wildly carcinogenic. Anyway, it's too bad you’re no longer entitled to the full benefits of my friendship, because I happen to be extremely prepared for such an emergency. Please try not to see anything by this light. It's not for you.
Leonard: It's just a blackout, I'm sure the power will be back on soon.
Sheldon: And I'm sure some fool in the Donner party said the snow would stop any day now. I like to think they ate him first.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Friendship Contraction

Leonard: You know what, I'm so tired I can't even think straight. I'm going home. Will one of you guys give this nutbag a ride back later?
Sheldon: You can't go home. You have to take me to the dentist at four o'clock.
Leonard: Oh, can't you take the bus to the dentist?
Sheldon: Of course I can. It's coming back under the residual effects of the anesthesia, that's the problem. Two years ago after a deep gum cleaning, I thought I got on a bus but somehow wound up on a booze cruise to Mexico.
Raj: They put you under for a cleaning?
Sheldon: Yeah, they have to, I'm a biter.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Friendship Contraction

Leonard: Whatever, Sheldon. I'm exhausted. I'm not taking you to the dentist.
Sheldon: Wrong, sir. Wrong. Under section 37B of the roommate agreement, miscellaneous duties, you are obligated to take me to the dentist. See? It's right here after providing a confirmation sniff on questionable dairy products.
Leonard: You know what, I am sick of the roommate agreement. It's ridiculous. I'm your roommate, not your chauffeur. You know, I had better things to do yesterday than drive you all the way to the good model train store in Garden Grove because the one in Pasadena has gotten too big for its britches.
Sheldon: Well, it has. Ask anybody.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Friendship Contraction

Howard: Emergency drill night last night, huh?
Leonard: Uh-huh.
Raj: How'd you do?
Sheldon: I'll tell you exactly how he did. Readiness: unsatisfactory. Follows direction: barely. Attitude: a little too much. Overall: not only will he probably die in a fiery inferno, his incessant whining would most certainly spoil everyone else's day.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Friendship Contraction

Sheldon: Are you suggesting that you've come to your senses and wish to re-establish the mutual benefits that stem from full participation in the roommate agreement?
Leonard: Absolutely. If you admit that you're a 30-year-old man who's incapable of functioning on his own.
Raj: Ooh, Sock Mouth's got him on the ropes.
Sheldon: I will admit nothing of the sort. And now if you'll excuse me, I have to call my dentist and see if I can also get my hair shampooed and my nails clipped.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Friendship Contraction

Penny: Oh, good, your power's out, too.
Leonard: Why is that good?
Penny: Because last month, I sent the electric company a Starbucks gift card, an apology note, and a few snapshots of me in a bra.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Friendship Contraction

Bernadette: Howard doesn't make me do his shopping, or take him to the dentist, or pick up his dry cleaning, right?
Howard: Absolutely. But when Ma's hips give out, you're up, kid.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Friendship Contraction

Sheldon: Hello, Stuart.
Stuart: Oh, hey, Sheldon. Can I help you find something today?
Sheldon: No, no. I was just sitting at home thinking about how it might be nice to catch up with my ninth favorite person.
Stuart: Ninth?
Sheldon: You moved up one. My pen pal in Somalia was kidnapped by pirates.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Friendship Contraction

Sheldon: On a cheerier note, I have a teeth-cleaning appointment this afternoon. What do you say you take me over there, buddy boy?
Stuart: I'm sorry, you want me to take you to the dentist?
Sheldon: Yes. And now, I can't make any promises, but that's the sort of thing that gets a fella on the short list for the number eight friend slot.
Stuart: Sheldon, I'm working. I can't take you to the dentist. Also, and I can't stress this enough, I don't want to take you to the dentist.
Sheldon: Can't help a friend out in a time of need, huh? I see where your therapist was coming from.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Friendship Contraction

Leonard: Hey, did you ever make it to the dentist?
Sheldon: Not necessary. No. I found a service that'll send a van to your house for a teeth cleaning. Mostly they cater to dogs, but the fellow on the phone seemed to have an open mind.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Friendship Contraction

Sheldon: Well, if Amy's too busy, that gives the rest of you an opportunity to make my life easier, thus assuring yourselves a footnote in my memoirs, tentatively entitled "You're Welcome, Mankind". All right, then, just shout when you hear the task you want to undertake. Uh, dentist. Okay, we can circle back to that one. Um, well, who wants to take me Wednesday morning to get new heels put on my dress shoes? Anyone? Oh. That one had hoot written all over it. Um, all right, uh, dermatologist? Allergist? Podiatrist? Supercuts? Okay, okay, here's a fun one. Um, I need a new picture frame and I have a hankering for Swedish meatballs. Who wants to spend the day with me at IKEA?
Raj: Their meatballs are pretty good.
Sheldon: What's that?
Raj: Nothing, nothing.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Rhinitis Revelation

Penny: Maybe a little Rodeo Drive.
Mary: Well, I can't spend $12,000 on a handbag. But it's free to look upon those that do with righteous condemnation.

Quote from Amy in the episode The Infestation Hypothesis

Penny: Pretty cool, huh? Probably would cost, like, two hundred bucks in a store.
Amy: I do appreciate a bargain. This entire ensemble once belonged to my dead grandmother.
Penny: You're kidding.
Amy: Everything except bra and panties. And they're a leopard-spotted secret I share with Victoria.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Infestation Hypothesis

Raj: I'll try it. Like this?
Howard: Almost. Really get your tongue in there, to activate the motion sensor.
Raj: Like this?
Howard: Close. Really French it.
Raj: Better?
Howard: Yeah, you got it, you got it.
Raj: I'm impressed. This is very lifelike.
Howard: Whoa! You just bit my tongue!
Raj: I, I nibbled. I was being playful.
Howard: Why do you have to make everything weird?
Raj: Sorry. Better?
Howard: Oh, yeah.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Infestation Hypothesis

Amy: Will you listen to me play my harp now?
Sheldon: No. I dislike the sound of the harp. Its overuse in classic television sitcoms always makes me think I'm going to experience an episode from my past.

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