Bernadette: Oh, I don't know. I don't want to manipulate him with sex.
Penny: Oh, sweetie, that's what sex is for.

Leonard: Lobster traps?
Sheldon: Yes. That's how Velma and Scooby smuggled Shaggy into the old lighthouse.

Penny: You know I'm a big believer in breaking bad news to a guy when you're in bed with him. That's how I told my high school boyfriend I slept with his brother. That's how I told his brother the same thing.

Amy: Sheldon, you've never worked in a lab like this before. You have no experience in the field of biology.
Sheldon: I have plenty of experience in biology. I bought a Tamagotchi in 1998. And it's still alive. Let's do this.

Howard: I'm not signing a prenup.
Penny: All right, Howard Wolowitz, listen up! You sign anything she puts in front of you, because you are the luckiest man alive. If you let her go, there is no way you can find anyone else. Speaking on behalf of all women, it is not going to happen, we had a meeting.

Sheldon: Gentlemen, I think I've come up with a fun way to get young people interested in science. Physics Mad-Libs. Now, give me a number.
Leonard: Five.
Sheldon: Uh-huh. And an irrational constant.
Howard: E.
Sheldon: And a funny Greek letter.
Raj: Gamma.
Sheldon: I said funny.
Raj: Upsilon?
Sheldon: Good one. And an electrical charge.
Leonard: Positive.
Sheldon: Ha. Perfect. Okay. Get this. Professor Jones told the symposium he had a new method for calculating the mass of a muon. Five times the limit of E to the upsilon as in a ... (laughs uncontrollably) ... Okay. No, no. I'll start over. Professor ... (laughs again).

Howard: I haven't seen him laugh that hard since the day Leonard made that multiplication error.
Sheldon: Oh, Oh, Lord, that multiplication error! He thought he carried the one. But he didn't.
Leonard: It's not funny. That mistake got published.
Sheldon: Stop! I'm going to wet myself!

Raj: Hey, guys, guys, President Siebert is headed this way.
Howard: I wonder what he wants.
Leonard: Doesn't look happy, so I'm guessing he wants to talk to Sheldon.
President Siebert: Dr. Cooper?
Leonard: Told ya.

Sheldon: Oh, President Siebert, I assume you'd like to respond to one of the suggestions I put in the box by your office.
President Siebert: No, and stop installing suggestion boxes everywhere.
Sheldon: You don't like written suggestions. You don't like when I give them to you while we're urinating in the men's room. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you're one of those stubborn people who are not open to suggestions.

President Siebert: Dr. Cooper, the physics department chair tells me you're refusing to take your vacation.
Sheldon: I don't need a vacation.
President Siebert: You're obligated to take one. And I'd also like you to know the most-often received suggestion in my suggestion box you installed without asking me is can Dr. Cooper take a vacation?

Penny: I'm so glad you talked Howard out of having your wedding invitations in Klingon.
Bernadette: Turn it over. I'm hoping my relatives think it's Hebrew.

Amy: This is really happening. I'm gonna be a maid of honour. I'm gonna wear a beautiful dress and walk down that aisle and, finally, I will have my special day.
Bernadette: You mean my special day?
Amy: They're gonna need an extra-large veil for somebody's head.

Amy: Parental pressure can be daunting. I remember the battle with my mother about shaving my legs. Last year, I finally gave in and let her do it.

Amy: Okay, smart guy. I'm about to remove the locus coeruleus, which is incredibly delicate work. Have at it.
Sheldon: All right. I'm no stranger to a little gray matter. Locus coeruleus. Locus coeruleus.
Amy: You're getting warmer, it is, indeed, in the brain. Hope your hands are steady. It's the width of a single hair. But this is just biology, so I'm sure it's no problem for a genius like you.
Sheldon: It's not. I'll have you know, in the field of physics, we work with particles so small, they make fat jokes about the locus coeruleus, i.e., when your locus coeruleus sits around the house, it sits around the house.

Amy: Sheldon, I've given you the simplest things to do, and you haven't done one of them right.
Sheldon: Maybe that's because I'm not being challenged. It's the same reason Einstein failed math.
Amy: Maybe the math was too bubbly for him.
Sheldon: You think you're doing science by cutting up that brain? They could do the same thing at any Quiznos. And they'd offer to toast it for me, too.