Sheldon: Get back here, you stupid bird, so I can love you.

Stuart: Can I help you find anything?
Amy: A comic that doesn't depict a woman whose bosom can be used as a flotation device.

Bernadette: Good Morning, handsome.
Howard: Good morning, mom.
Bernadette: It's me!

Sheldon: Hard as this may be to believe, it's possible that I'm not boyfriend material.
Leonard: Glad I was sitting down for that.

Sheldon: I got a splinter.
Amy: What do you want me to do about it?
Sheldon: Relationship Agreement - Section 4: Boo-boos and Ouchies. You have to take care of it.
Amy: I should've gotten a lawyer.

Leonard: You went to the comic book store by yourself?
Penny: Yeah, it was fun. I walked in and two different guys got asthma attacks. It felt pretty good.

Sheldon: I thought where you come from they don't have emotions.
Spock Doll: I come from a factory in Taiwan.

Raj: They don't call me Brown Dynamite for nothin'.

Amy: I have a sorta kinda boyfriend at home playing with a model train, but you don't hear me bitching about it.

Astronaut Mike Massimino: No problem, Froot Loops.

Penny: Strap on a pair and go talk to Amy.
Sheldon: Strap on a pair of what? ...Skates?
Penny: Oh, you are so not the guy.

Amy: I'll let you in on a little secret. Originally, we were painted nude. But I had him add clothes cause I thought it was an unnecessary challenge to our heterosexuality.
Penny: Yeah, good call.
Amy: But, if you ever change your mind, all it would take is some warm, soapy water and a couple of sponges.
Penny: You're talking about the painting, right?
Amy: Sure.

Sheldon: You can lead a chicken to crisco, but you can't make your mother fry it.

Penny: What's up, buttercup?

Howard: Look, if you don't want to go to the party, just don't go. You're a grown man. Act like one. Tell Amy you want to spend the weekend having a sleepover and playing video games with your friends!