Leonard: What did you think of the sushi?
Mary: It was good. Only thing - would have made it better if it was cooked - and if it was beef!

Sheldon: That reminds me of another saying: You can lead a chicken to Crisco, but you can't make your mother fry it.
Mary Cooper: Sheldon, you pester me one more time about chicken and I will put you over my knee right here in this restaurant.
Leonard: Please pester her? Please? For me.

Leonard: It's kinda like the Loch Ness Monster. Maybe there's something there, maybe there isn't. We'll never know but sometimes it's fun to creep yourself out thinking about it.

Sheldon: You can lead a chicken to crisco, but you can't make your mother fry it.

Raj: I couldn't find you guys, so I bought six new friends! Sadly, three of them are dead.

Leonard: You're talking like a crazy person.
Mary: Actually, I had him tested as a child. Doctor says he's fine.
Sheldon: Told ya.
Mary Cooper: Although, I do regret not following up with that specialist in Houston.

Sheldon: You just got off the list, would you like back on it?

Amy: Now Sheldon, I know you're a left handed monkey wrench but you seriously have a mortal enemy
Sheldon: Yes, in fact I have 61. Would you like to see the list?

Penny: (Whispers) Here she comes.
Howard: Smart. Whisper so the deaf chick doesn't hear you!

Leonard: It turns out she really knows how to help a guy loosen up and have a good time. Although, truth be told, my groin is a little worse for wear.
*Sheldon karate chops Leonard*
Leonard: Why did you do that?
Sheldon: To send a message: She is not for you!
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: Not for you!

Sheldon: If your video's frozen try re-setting the TCP/IP stack.

Raj: I don't know if I wanna play any more.
Sheldon: Because you don't have a girlfriend? Well, good lord, if that becomes a reason to not play dungeons and dragons, this game is in serious trouble.

Amy: You can't blame yourself. When your pre-frontal cortex fails to make you happy, promiscuity rewards you with the needed flood of Dopamine. We neurobiologists refer to it as the skank reflex.

Penny: This girl is trouble. What kind of relationship is it where you buy her gifts and she gives you sex?
Raj: The best one I've ever had!

Raj: I was so smooth on that date.
Howard: Dude, I made you smooth. You were an idiot.
Raj: Whatever, dude. She kissed me.
Howard: It might have been on your lips, but it was my kiss.
Raj: Oh, fine. Let's agree she kissed both of us.
Howard: Okay.