Barry Kripke: (To Raj, slipping him a dollar) Yeah, nice speech, Francine.

Bernadette: Why do you think he asked you out again?
Penny: I don't know.
Amy: Maybe he's dying. That would be so romantic.
Penny: He's not dying.
Amy: Too bad. If he were, she could just throw him in bed and ride him right up until he flatlines.

Howard: The e-mail I got was from the office of Stephen Hawking.
Leonard: You're kidding.
Raj: Why?
Howard: He's coming to the university for a couple weeks to lecture, and he's looking for an engineer to help maintain the equipment on his wheelchair.
Leonard: That's amazing. You'll be like his pit crew. A word of caution, I would not do your Stephen Hawking impression in front of him.
Howard: (imitating Stephen Hawking) You're right. I suppose that could be considered offensive.