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Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Sheldon: This whole thing is maddening.
Bernadette: I'm really busy. I don't have time to listen to you complain.
Sheldon: Hey! You're complaining, too. "Sheldon, why are you here?" "Sheldon, the applesauce is for the baby."

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Bernadette: What do you want?
Sheldon: I just wish I could make Howard feel as angry as I'm feeling.
Bernadette: Well, maybe you could do something he likes and make him jealous.
Sheldon: Like what?
Bernadette: Have you ever read Tom Sawyer?
Sheldon: No.
Bernadette: Chores. He likes chores.
Sheldon: Ooh. What kind of chores?
Bernadette: Well, you could change the batteries in the smoke detectors. That would drive him crazy.
Sheldon: That's great. Oh, he'll be so mad smoke will be coming out of his ears. And then the smoke detectors will detect it.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Sheldon: Wait, wait, now, hold on. Why'd you ask me about Tom Sawyer?
Bernadette: I'm just interested in you.
Sheldon: Well, you are sweeter than your applesauce.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Howard: You think that's impressive, take apart that brain model.
Amy: Oh my God, three of clubs. That was my card! How did you?
Howard: I used to make it appear in my pants, but HR said I had to stop doing that.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Raj: I stopped by to see if you wanted to go to the movies with me.
Howard: Well, I'd love to, but we're just about to test the interface. It could take a while.
Raj: Okay, buddy, it-- it's not my place, but Bernadette's been feeling a little abandoned with all the hours that you've been putting in.
Amy: You just asked him to go to the movies.
Raj: Yeah, but our weird relationship was grandfathered into their marriage, and yours was not.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Raj: Guys, you won't believe this. I stopped by the university to check in on Howard and Amy, and they were having fun.
Sheldon: Well, don't worry. He won't be having any fun when he gets home. I did all his favorite chores!

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Raj: What are you talking about? Howard hates doing chores.
Sheldon: Wait, then why would Bernadette tell me that - (gasps) Bernadette. Did you play on my well established gullibility to clean your house?
Bernadette: Sure did.
Sheldon: Well, I would storm out of here, but I already have the gloves and the steel wool, and I really do love cleaning an oven.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Penny: Yeah, that is a good point. I'm really proud of the way you're able to express your feelings.
Sheldon: Thank you. I'm just so angry.
Penny: You know, everyone gets angry. Even mommies and daddies.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Penny: So is this how it's gonna be if we have kids? You're just gonna throw me under the bus?
Leonard: If you spoil them the way you do Sheldon, then, yeah.
Penny: Uh, my way was working. Okay? I think you're just upset because there are some things I am better than you at.
Leonard: Well, you can't end a sentence with a preposition, so clearly not grammar.
Penny: If you're so smart, was that a smart thing to say?
Leonard: That depends. Before I said it, was sex tonight still on the table?
Penny: No.
Leonard: Then it's fine.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Raj: This is great, the two of us hanging out. Why didn't we think of this earlier?
Sheldon: Agreed. I don't need Amy to watch a movie. I can not hold your hand just as easily.
(Sheldon starts the movie)
Sheldon: In the book this is based on, that man's the killer.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Amy: Well, at work we've been doing some interesting research with neuroprosthetics.
Penny: Neat. I've been rewatching The O.C., so we're all leading productive lives.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Raj: I used to have the stuffed raccoon from Guardians of the Galaxy, but Cinnamon licked it raw.
Howard: There's a time and place for your randy dog stories, and it's never and nowhere.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Explosion Implosion

Leonard: It's okay. We're all here to help.
Sheldon: Yes. And this baby will have plenty of manly role models. Now, I'm certain that whatever Bernadette can't teach him, Penny can.
Leonard: Uh, she can pee into a bottle.
Penny: Mm-hmm. Anything with a neck wider than a nickel.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Explosion Implosion

Penny: Hey, where are you going?
Leonard: Back to the dry cleaner. Look at this. They didn't get the stain out of my Starfleet uniform.
Penny: Well, if you didn't make me wear the green body paint in bed, you wouldn't have to get it dry-cleaned so much.
Leonard: Nah, it's worth it.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Explosion Implosion

Howard: I haven't looked at all this stuff in years.
Sheldon: Had it. Had it. Burnt down my garage with it.

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