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Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Penny: All right. What do you think is happening?
Sheldon: I think Dr. Nowitzki is a friendly colleague. I think you and Leonard need to see a marriage counselor. And I need to update my rsum to include swimming as a special skill.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Howard: If you'd like, we can help you out.
Leonard: Oh, that would be great.
Howard: I mean, not me, I've got a wife and child, but this one posts video of himself flossing on Instagram.
Raj: It was a tutorial. And yes, I'm happy to keep Sheldon company.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Sheldon: So, tell me about your scalar dark energy experiment.
Ramona Nowitzki: Not 'til you tell me about your latest paper on quantum loop theory.
Sheldon: Oh. You must be one of those dessert before dinner people.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Sheldon: And get this, I saw an articulating ladder with dual-leg leveling, which delivers stability and adaptability to uneven terrain.
Amy: Sounds like a big night.
Sheldon: Yeah. Raj made the funniest joke, he said, "Which is the best ladder to use to hang myself?"

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Sheldon: She's always been a huge fan of my work, and now she's doing research at Caltech.
Amy: Huge fan, you say?
Sheldon: Yes. I think you'd like her. She's extremely intelligent, just like you. Unlike you, she's tall, blonde and used to be an Olympic swimmer.

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Penny: We thought you meant not letting him run out into traffic.
Bernadette: Which he only did once.

Quote from Stuart in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Raj: Actually, I was going to suggest me.
Howard: Great. Anybody's better than, (glancing at Stuart) mmm.
Stuart: Excuse me. They took out my spleen and gallbladder, not my feelings.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Howard: We should call Guinness, that might be a record.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Raj: She's clearly having a working lunch and preferred to eat alone.
Ramona Nowitzki: Dr. Cooper, over here.
Raj: I could have made her very happy.
Leonard: You kept walking. I think you did.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Gyroscopic Collapse

Amy: You know, it's nice of you to acknowledge us, but this is your accomplishment.
Bernadette: Yeah, you guys did this all on your own.
Raj: Without me.
Sheldon: To success without Raj!

Quote from Raj in the episode The Gyroscopic Collapse

Raj: Bert has a room for rent.
Bernadette: So you're gonna be roommates with Bert?
Raj: Uh, no, it's, uh, pretty private, actually, it's over his garage. So the only time I'll see him is when he pulls his car in, does his laundry or practices drums in my dining room.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Gyroscopic Collapse

Amy: Well, good for you. Mm-hmm. I actually have a little news myself.
Penny: Okay, we're just gonna circle back to when he's moving out? Okay, that's cool.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Gyroscopic Collapse

Penny: So, did you tell him about Princeton yet?
Amy: No, I'm waiting till he's in a good mood.
Penny: Oh, sweetie, you might not live that long.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Gyroscopic Collapse

Amy: I don't know, maybe I shouldn't go.
Penny: Oh, stop it, he'll be fine.
Amy: I guess. And he'll have you and Leonard right across the hall the whole time.
Penny: Oh, damn, wait, you know, maybe you shouldn't go-
Amy: Got to go! (Hangs up the phone)

Quote from Amy in the episode The Gyroscopic Collapse

Amy: Morning.
Sheldon: I apologize for exceeding my allotted bathroom time.
Amy: Are you feeling okay?
Sheldon: Not really. Apparently grief can make one less regular.
Amy: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Sheldon: No, I sat and I sat, but to no avail.
Amy: Oh, the-the more details, the more sorry.

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