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Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Status Quo Combustion

Bernadette: But we have jobs, we can't babysit her twenty-four hours a day.
Howard: What if we use our vacation time?
Bernadette: I wanted to go to Hawaii, not Hell.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Status Quo Combustion

Penny: No, mom. It's the same guy I've been going out with for the past two years. Yeah, the scientist. Well, it's complicated. He works with lasers and atomic magnets. No, I did not see it coming. No, we have not set a date. No, I am not pregnant. Yeah, this is a first for our family.

Quote from Mike Rostenkowski in the episode The Table Polarization

Bernadette: I think what we're all trying to say is that you don't seem to be remembering how traumatic the experience was for you.
Raj: Like how women often forget the pain of childbirth.
Mike Rostenkowski: Like a woman. Great analogy.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Justice League Recombination

Raj: I've said this before and I'll say it again: Aquaman sucks!

Quote from Amy in the episode The Romance Resonance

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not get lucky.
Amy: You and me both, brother.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Itchy Brain Simulation

Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Septum Deviation

Raj: I'm sorry I'm so late. I was on the phone with my mother.
Bernadette: How is she?
Raj: Pretty good. She bought the book "Eat, Pray, Love", and used it to set my father's Mercedes on fire.

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Hesitation Ramification

Bernadette: (Shouting from the bathroom) How many times do I have to tell you to replace the toilet paper when it's empty?
Howard: I'm in the middle of something.
Bernadette: So am I!

Quote from Howard in the episode The Wiggly Finger Catalyst

Penny: (Whispers) Here she comes.
Howard: Smart. Whisper so the deaf chick doesn't hear you!

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Opening Night Excitation

Sheldon: (3 knocks) Penny! (3 knocks) Penny! (3 knocks) Penny!
Bernadette: What happens if I say come in?
Penny: Well, find out.
Bernadette: Come in!
Sheldon: (silence)
(3 knocks) Bernadette! (3 knocks) Bernadette! (3 knocks) Bernadette!
Penny: Come in!
Sheldon: Keep it up. I've got nowhere else to be.
Bernadette: Just come in.
Sheldon: For future reference, if I want to watch Mean Girls, I'll just stream it on Netflix.

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Closet Reconfiguration

Bernadette: I told you you shouldn't have espresso after dinner. I know the little cups make you feel big but it's not worth it.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Santa Simulation

Raj: Doesn't anyone have a rod of resurrection? Because if you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
Stuart: Okay, you need to say these things in your head before you say them out loud.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Colonization Application

Howard: How are the taxes going?
Bernadette: Okay, but you've got a lot of receipts for the Lego store in here.
Howard: Those are business expenses. You can write those off.
Bernadette: A $200 R2-D2 is a business expense?
Howard: Oh, Bernie, you're gonna have to sound a lot more confident when we get audited.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Champagne Reflection

Dan: Well one thing I've been meaning to tell you, is that the company's gonna stop paying for our coffee.
Bernadette: No problem. When does that start?
Dan: Five months ago.
Bernadette: What? Who's been paying for my coffee.
Dan: All of us.
Penny: Yep, it comes from the swear jar we put money in when you curse.

Quote from Amy in the episode The Hook-Up Reverberation

Amy: Can you see how a grown man and accomplished scientist who invests in a store that sells picture books about flying men in colorful underwear might be wasting both his financial and intellectual resources?
Sheldon: No.
Amy: Then I think it's a terrific idea.
Sheldon: Great! Wait until you hear about our van.

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