Popular Quotes Page 555 of 641
Penny: You want to talk about crazy mothers, Leonard's mom wouldn't give him any sort of approval growing up.
Priya: Oh, the poor thing.
Penny: It makes him desperate to please women. That's why the foreplay goes on and on.
Priya: It does, doesn't it?
Penny: It's like he's trying to win a prize. A word of advice, don't doze off. You will never hear the end of it.
Leonard: Every once in a while, before we'd go to bed, I'd put on a little show for her.
Raj: What do you mean, a show?
Leonard: Well, you know, the way I took my clothes off.
Raj: Like, to music?
Leonard: I'd look pretty stupid if there was no music.
Raj: So you'd do a striptease?
Leonard: I wasn't swinging around a pole.
Raj: Good, good.
Leonard: There was one time I put body glitter on.
Raj: Well, I don't think you have to worry about Penny telling my sister that.
Leonard: No, she wouldn't.
Raj: Your big problem is me telling her.
Leonard: You really are a mean little man.
Bernadette: She thinks she got food poisoning from that deli and she just wanted to make sure I was okay.
Howard: And are you?
Bernadette: No, because I'm engaged to a putz! You let me believe I was the reason she had a heart attack.
Howard: Well, based on the available evid-
Bernadette: Shut up! She said I'm a wonderful girl and that you're lucky to have me.
Howard: Where are you going?
Bernadette: (sounding like Mrs. Wolowitz) To the toilet! Is that okay with you?
Howard: Is it just me, or does she sound sexy when she's angry?
Sheldon: Zandor, Wizard of the North. Ha! I win.
Howard: If you skip the part about being under a two-week quarantine because you were exposed to a deadly disease, absolutely.
Penny: Hey, do me a favor and take table seven.
Bernadette: You mean the one with my one hundred and eighteen-pound rock-hard stud of a fianc who's prone to canker sores and pinkeye?
Penny: Nah, I prefer to look at it as the one with my ex-boyfriend and his gorgeous, successful and sophisticated girlfriend, who makes me feel like a toothless Okie.
Bernadette: Do you want me to spill hot soup on her?
Penny: Oh, please, you're not that kind of person.
Bernadette: I know. But if she orders something low-fat I'll totally give her the full-fat version.
Leonard: Uh, that's my water.
Leonard: My water. You're drinking it.
Sheldon: Dear Lord! Have you been drinking it?
Leonard: Yes. It's my water.
Sheldon: Well, that's it then. I'm dead.
Leonard: Here we go.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, do I really need to connect the dots for you? The backwash into this glass is every pathogen that calls your mouth home, sweet home. Not to mention the visitors who arrive on the dancing tongue of your subtropical girlfriend.
Raj: Hey! That's my sister and my country you're talking about. Leonard may have defiled one, but I won't have you talking smack about the other.
Bernadette: You guys ready to order?
Sheldon: Yes, Id like a seven-day course of penicillin, some, uh, syrup of ipecac to induce vomiting, and a mint.
Leonard: That's actually my napkin.
Sheldon: Oh, this is a nightmare!
Howard: Where are you going?
Sheldon: To the bar, to sterilize my mouth with alcohol. Gangway, dead man walking!
Bernadette: All right. Here you go. Two lemonades, one iced tea and a root beer for Priya.
Priya: Is it diet?
Bernadette: That's what you ordered.
Priya: Hey, have you and Howard started planning your wedding yet?
Bernadette: Yeah. Were thinking of having it on a cliff overlooking the ocean.
Howard: Nothing soothes those pre-wedding jitters like the thought of falling and drowning.
Leonard: What did your mother say when you told her you were getting married?
Bernadette: He hasn't told her yet. He's waiting for the right time.
Howard: I was thinking of weaving it into her eulogy.
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