Popular Quotes Page 557 of 641
Howard: What you've got to keep in mind is that ever since my dad left, I've been the whole world to my mother. I mean, she'd be threatened by any woman who can give me what she can't.
Bernadette: You mean sexual intercourse?
Howard: Well, when you say it like that you make it sound creepy.
Amy: I must say, Penny, this is great fun.
Penny: Glad you're enjoying yourself.
Amy: Until I met you and Bernadette, my trips to the bathroom had been entirely focused on elimination. Now they have a delightful social aspect.
Bernadette: Amy, you must've been in the bathroom with other women before.
Amy: Of course I have. But they were strangers and seemed off-put when I engaged in friendly stall-to-stall chit chat.
Bernadette: Some women don't like to get chummy when their panties are down.
Amy: You okay in there, bestie?
Penny: I'm fine.
Amy: The reason I ask is that many people experience bladder shyness, the inability to pass urine
Penny: Yeah, I said I'm fine. Stop talking to me.
Bernadette: Did I tell you Priya invited me and Howard to have dinner with her and Leonard?
Penny: Oh, that's nice.
Amy: No, it's not. It's a strategic maneuver. Leonard's new girlfriend is testing Bernadette's loyalty to you and the group. That bitch is crafty.
Bernadette: It doesn't matter. I'm going to tell her we can't make it.
Amy: Oh, no. You have to go.
Bernadette: I don't understand. I thought I was a teeny-tiny wildebeest.
Amy: You are, with hair that smells like strawberries. And we're going to use that to our advantage.
Penny: Wait. What are you talking about?
Amy: By accepting the invitation, Bernadette becomes a double agent inside the enemy camp. She could ferret out Priya's tactics, identify her weaknesses and feed her false information, such as, Leonard's no stranger to back-alley cockfights.
Amy: How do you feel about concealing a recording device in the cleavage of your ample bosom?
Bernadette: I don't want anything in my ample bosom.
Amy: Come on, Strawberries. Take one for the team.
Sheldon: Uh, do you know how I solved the balanced center combat-area problem? Five words, transitional quadrilateral to triangular tessellation.
Leonard: That's brilliant.
Sheldon: It's what I do. But wait, there's more. I also invented two new chess pieces. The serpent and the old woman.
Leonard: Okay, now I have to ask. What do they do?
Sheldon: When the serpent slithers to an opposing player's piece, that piece is considered poisoned and will die after two more moves. Ugh.
Leonard: All right.
Sheldon: Unless, it gets to the old woman in time, in which case she sucks out the poison, turning her into the Grand Empress, a piece combining the power of the knight, queen and serpent.
Sheldon: That's because it's simple.
Leonard: Okay, well, I look forward to playing with you.
Leonard: And what?
Sheldon: And a third person. It's three-person chess. I must say, ever since you started having regular intercourse, your mind has lost its keen edge. You should reflect on that.
Leonard: Hi. Hey, Raj, will you be joining us for dinner?
Raj: The lonely guy and the two happy couples? I'd rather get a prostate exam from a leper who walks away with nine fingers.
Priya: Oh, would you please stop feeling sorry for yourself?
Raj: I have to feel sorry for myself. I'm the only one who cares. Just like I'm the only one who'll have sex with me.
Leonard: Really? In front of your sister?
Priya: We shared a room growing up. This is not news to me.
Amy: I don't understand. Is this a way to break in new shoes?
Penny: No. Once these puppies touch the ground they're mine, and I'll have to wear them walking up and down Hollywood Boulevard in order to pay them off. Pretty, pretty, pretty.
Amy: Good news, the wildebeest is in the curry.
Penny: The what?
Amy: Bernadette is with Priya and Leonard. Message received. Commence Operation "Priya Wouldn't Wanna Be-ya."
Penny: Hey. Seriously? Didn't you get enough of this cliquey crap in high school?
Amy: I wish. A clique requires friends. I didn't have any.
Amy: I used to take my lunch down to the maintenance room and eat with the janitor. It was nice until his wife called me a puta and made me stop.
Amy: Hang on. It's the wildebeest. Priya just made a snide comment about your acting career.
Penny: What the hell did she say?
Amy: She thinks it's cool you're following your dream, no matter what.
Penny: That bitch!
Amy: How do you want to handle it?
Penny: Um, okay. Tell Bernadette to tell Priya that I'm on my way to Prague to shoot a movie with Angelina Jolie.
Amy: Got it. Is it going to be in 3-D?
Penny: What? I don't know. It doesn't matter.
Amy: I'm gonna say 3-D. That'll let her know the studio has faith in it.
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