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Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Amy: Are you excited to see your son walk down the aisle?
Alfred Hofstadter: Yes, I am. I'm just feeling a little guilty about all the trouble I've caused.
Mary Cooper: Oh, so am I.
Sheldon: You made God sad today, Mom.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Howard: Why wouldn't that colonel say what the meeting's about? It has to be bad news.
Raj: Calm down, okay? Try not to think about it.
Howard: That's really stupid advice.
Raj: You know that hurts my feelings.
Howard: Calm down, try not to think about it.
Raj: (upbeat) Okay.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Leonard: Can I get anyone a drink?
Wyatt: Well, I could use another beer.
Susan: (loudly) You're done! (softly) He's done.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Positive Negative Reaction

Raj: Groundbreaking revelations, tropical drinks. Tell me this isn't like the best episode of Sex and the City.

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Positive Negative Reaction

Bernadette: We were out one night, and things got a little spontaneous.
Amy: Oh, that sounds juicy.
Bernadette: Well, Sheldon was going on and on about time zones and railroad schedules, and I went out-
Penny: Wait, I remember that. Hang on. You did it at our place?
Bernadette: Kind of on Sheldon's bed.
Amy: What?!
Penny: No!
Bernadette: I was headed to the bathroom, and I passed Howie on his way out. Usually he says, "Do not go in there," but this time he said, "Hey, let's go in here."

Quote from Penny in the episode The Sales Call Sublimation

Leonard: Hi.
Penny: Hey, how'd it go?
Leonard: Oh, great. Dr. Gallo is terrific. You know, I-I've always been insecure that no one cares about what I have to say, but she made me see-
Penny: Yeah, no one cares. Did you help me out or not?

Quote from Amy in the episode The Troll Manifestation

Penny: "So instead she asked if in the future Montana ever became a state."
Amy: Hey, in the 1800s that was considered flirting.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Table Polarization

Leonard: You make a lot of sense. I like this table and I'm getting it.
Penny: Really, this one?
Leonard: That one.
*Penny nods*
Leonard: Damn right I like that one.

Quote from Barry Kripke in the episode The Tenure Turbulence

Barry Kripke: I'd love to babysit for you. Kids love me. Something about me just makes them waff and waff.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Habitation Configuration

Penny: Hey, sorry this took so long. But you used to work here, you know how it is.
Bernadette: Kitchen slammed again?
Penny: No, I'm a terrible waitress, remember?

Quote from Penny in the episode The Re-Entry Minimization

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, you're always full of fun little facts. Where did the expression get your ass handed to you come from?
Sheldon: Don't know.
Penny: I wonder if it's from like ancient Rome where they'd actually chop somebody's ass off and then go, here. You know, to appease Loseroneous, the God of losers.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Recombination Hypothesis

Sheldon: Leonard?
Leonard: Yeah, hi, hi. How's it going?
Sheldon: Uh, can't complain. Thanks for asking. What were you doing out at three o'clock in the morning?
Leonard: Well, uh - uh, what are you doing up?
Sheldon: I was using the bathroom.
Leonard: Yeah, well, so was I.
Sheldon: Really? I didn't see you in there.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Infestation Hypothesis

Sheldon: Please let me know when you and your girlfriend are done hogging the bandwidth for your self-abuse. I'm trying to stream a movie on Netflix in here.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Skank Reflex Analysis

Sheldon: What about Nebraska?
Penny: Oh hell with Nebraska. I'm gonna be a star!

Quote from Amy in the episode The Wildebeest Implementation

Leonard: You okay?
Amy: Yeah, yeah. I'm just breaking in some new shoes.
Leonard: Very pretty.
Amy: Thank you. Did you know that women wear high heels to make the buttocks and breasts more prominent?
Leonard: Hadn't really thought about it.
Amy: Look.
Leonard: Uh, sure. Very ... prominent.
Amy: Please, Leonard, don't leer. You have a girlfriend.

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