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Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst

Howard: You're either on Team Leonard or Team Penny.
Sheldon: Which one picks last?
Howard: What?
Sheldon: Well, usually I'm on the team that picks last. Unless there's a kid in the wheelchair.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Hofstadter Isotope

Sheldon: Just pick out anything? Maybe at the same time we can pick out a new suit for him without knowing his size, or pick out his career for him without knowing his attitude, or pick out a new breakfast cereal without knowing his fiber requirements or his feelings about little marshmallows.

Quote from Barry Kripke in the episode The Killer Robot Instability

Barry Kripke: Are you crazy? This is a street fight. The street has no rules.

Quote from Stuart in the episode The Relaxation Integration

Stuart: If you still want to hang out as friends, I'd like that.
Ruchi: Thanks, Stuart. I'd like that, too.
Stuart: And the fungus is under the toenail.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Change Constant

Amy: Raj, please, not now.
Raj: Hey, what's wrong?
Amy: My picture's all over the Internet, and I look terrible.
Raj: No. Let me see. Well, that is an unfortunate angle. But who cares? You just won the Nobel. You should be proud of this moment.
Amy: I know I shouldn't care about how I look, and I never thought I did. It-It's stupid and shallow, but I just can't help it. Am I really this frumpy?
Raj: No. No, you are a beautiful woman. By the way, if you're not happy with those pictures, then make some changes. Get a haircut, new clothes, new glasses, big glasses - No glasses, then you won't be able to see those pictures.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Monetary Insufficiency

Howard: Hey. Missed you guys at the faculty mixer.
Raj: Ah, you should have been there; dessert was bananas. Sorry, that was misleading. The dessert was pie, but the pie was bananas. Actually, the pie was cherry, but the taste of the pie was bananas.

Quote from Dr. Koothrappali in the episode The Confidence Erosion

Dr. Koothrappali: I, too, was in a relationship with someone who made me feel bad about myself.
Raj: If you're talking about Mom, I don't want to hear it.
Dr. Koothrappali: I'm just saying, if you replace Howard with a nice 22-year-old grad student, your self-confidence will soar.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Retraction Reaction

Leonard: Another fun sidenote, I went to high school with a girl named Theresa Gluino, but it didn't cost $2 billion to find her. She was smoking behind the gym.

Quote from Howard in the episode The D & D Vortex

Raj: But y-you blocked your number, right?
Howard: Relax, this is not my first creepy phone call. It's like riding a bike ... slowly past a girl's house.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Confirmation Polarization

Leonard: I am so proud of you.
Penny: Well, I know how to do the dishes. Just, sometimes I'm tired.
Leonard: No, I-I mean, I'm proud of how well you're doing at work. Are you even using soap?
Penny: Do you want to do this?
Leonard: Yeah, I really do.

Quote from Stuart in the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Sheldon: Okay, well, uh, thank you, Stuart. That's a very generous offer.
Stuart: My pleasure. I-I understand the best man usually receives a present.
Sheldon: That's true.
Stuart: Can never have too much Claritin.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation

Sheldon: Which side of the bed would you prefer?
Amy: Doesn't matter to me. Your choice.
Sheldon: No, no, we're living together now. Everything's equal. I know that I have a tendency to be controlling, so I would rather you choose.
Amy: Well, Sheldon, I really appreciate that, but these things mean more to you than they do to me, so whatever you want.
Sheldon: Well, clearly, it's not whatever I want, because what I want is for you to make this decision, and you refuse to do that.
Amy: Well, I'm not refusing. I'm just trying to be considerate.
Sheldon: Like when you let me get those shoes with the wheels on the bottom, and then watched me roll right into traffic?

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation

Sheldon: So, how is everyone?
Amy: Miserable and exhausted.
Sheldon: Really? I slept great.
Amy: Well, I didn't, and it's your fault.
Sheldon: How? You had the whole floor to yourself.

Quote from Amy in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Bernadette: Who's going to officiate?
Penny: I was kind of hoping you would.
Amy: Wait, now I'm just some lousy maid of honor?

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Launch Acceleration

Amy: Tempting choices, but I have something special planned for tonight.
Sheldon: What can be more special than having an adequate amount of time to cross the street on your way to buy a tiny LEGO Indiana Jones?

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