Howard: See a Penny, pick her up, and all the day, you'll have good luck.
Penny: No, you won't.

Sheldon: I don't know how, but she is cheating! Nobody can be that attractive and this skilled at a videogame.

Raj: Not only are there children starving in India, there's an Indian starving right here.

Sheldon: Yeah, I apologize for my earlier outburst! Who needs Halo when we can be regaled delightfully with the folksy tale of the "whore of Omaha"?

Penny: I grew up on a farm. From what I heard, they're either having sex or Howard's caught in a milking machine.

Christy: Mmm! There's my little engine that could.
*Howard makes train noise*
Sheldon: There's one beloved children's book I'll never read again.

Penny: OK, I have a problem!
Sheldon: It's called carpal tunnel syndrome, and quite frankly, you deserve it.

Leonard: You know, Penny, we make such a good team, maybe we could enter a couple of Halo tournaments sometime.
Penny: Or we could just have a life.

Sheldon: If we're all through playing "Mock the Flawed Technology", can we get on with Halo Night? We were supposed to start at 8, it is now 8:06.

Leonard: You have a TV in your room. Why don't you have breakfast in bed?
Sheldon: Because I am neither an invalid nor a woman celebrating Mother's Day.

Mrs. Wolowitz: That's right. Go back to Babylon, you whore!

Leonard: I don't think she's a whore.
Penny: Oh no, she's definitely a whore. She has no standards. ... Wait, where's Howard?
*Off screen:*
Wolowitz: Bonjour, mademoiselle. I understand you're new in town.
Sheldon: Oh, good God!

Howard: When they perfect human cloning, I'm gonna order 12 of those.

Leonard: If you don't like this Christy, why are you letting her stay?
Penny: Well, she was engaged to my cousin while she was sleeping with my brother, so she's kind of family.