Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

Bernadette: You realize it's been years since we've got away just the two of us.
Howard: I know. I can't wait. Fancy hotel room. The big bed.
Bernadette: Yeah. We're gonna sleep our asses off.

Penny: Well, thank you guys so much for the clothes and the shoes, the plane tickets. You've been so generous.
Amy: Well, it's important that all of our friends get to share this moment with us.
Sheldon: And then for years to come, you can tell others you had a front-row seat to history. Although, technically, I think your seats are in the second row.

Sheldon: As such, your behavior must reflect the highest standards. Uh, Raj. Bagel down.
Raj: If my blood sugar drops and I get bitchy, it's on you.

Howard: How you doing?
Bernadette: Fine. Why?
Howard: Well, this is the furthest we've ever been away from the kids. I was just checking to see if you're okay.
Bernadette: I'm on my second Jack Reacher. I'm doing great.