Sheldon: Hello.
Leonard: Hey, buddy, can we have some privacy?
Sheldon: Of course. Wouldn't want to intrude. (takes red bra out of his pocket and hands it to Penny) This is yours.
Penny: Okay, when I'm done with him, I'm gonna need more information.
Sheldon: Nothing odd. I just wanted to rub Amy's nose in it.

Sheldon: Thankfully all the things my girlfriend used to do can be taken care of with my right hand.

Leonard: I'm not being weird. Am I being weird?
Sheldon: Yes. And that's coming from me.

Amy: I've seen and talked to you more in the two days we've been broken up than in the last two months we were together.
Sheldon: Well, if you want to see less of me, maybe we should go out again.

Sheldon: She watched it. I'm gonna get that girl back.
Amy: I only watched it because you emailed it to me with the subject line "This is gonna make you mad."
Sheldon: She was listening through the door. She wants me.

Sheldon: I understand that we are no longer a couple, but I'd like to remind you that we made a baby together.
Amy: What baby?
Sheldon: A precocious, little Internet show known as Fun with Flags.

Amy: Whose bra is this?
Sheldon: It's not yours? Oh, my. How embarrassing for both of us.
Amy: It's Penny's.
Sheldon: Hey. You broke up with me, it's none of your business whose naked bosom I'm smushing around like pizza dough.

Sheldon: Hello, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper, and welcome to Sheldon Cooper presents Fun with Flags. You may notice that I'm holding a remote control. That's because my camera person and co-host, Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, has chosen to end her relationship with me.
I'm going to pause here to let that sink in.
Okay. If you need to pause a little longer, just click the pause button.

Sheldon: And then the Czech Republic says to Slovakia, I don't think you understand how being broken up works.
Can you believe that? You'd think the Czech Republic would try to hold on to what it did, given it's not as young as it used to be. And I don't see any other countries lining up to invade its southern borders.

Amy: My old scarf.
Sheldon: You wore it the night we went ice skating, remember?
Amy: You mean the night that I went ice skating and you stood at the rail Googling the symptoms of hypothermia.
Sheldon: We made one heck of a team, huh?

Leonard: I wonder if that's why I have such a dysfunctional relationship with Sheldon. I had a dream the other night that I was in a cave, and I was nursing a baby. But the baby had Sheldon's head on it.
Mandy: And your wife is worried about me?

Amy: How dare you go on the Internet and say mean things about me, and compare my genitalia to part of Czechoslovakia.

Amy: (watching Fun with Flags) I'm going to kill him.

Mandy: Maybe you should talk to a therapist about this.
Leonard: Too expensive.

Leonard: Well, how about we stop being so scared of losing each other, and just be together?
Penny: That sounds nice.
Leonard: Good. I've loved you from the moment we met and I will keep loving you until the end of time.
Penny: Oh my God, that is the most beautiful thing anyone's ever said to me.
Leonard: Yeah? That's because you're beautiful, and your beauty fills my heart with love and song.
Penny: Getting kind of cheesy, Leonard.
Leonard: You think that's cheesy? Buckle up.
(Leonard gets down on one knee)
Leonard: Penny Hofstadter, will you please stay married to me?
Penny: Oh dammit, you topped it.